40TH BIRTHDAY JOKES
For his wife's 40th birthday party, a doctor ordered a cake with this inscription:
"You are not getting older,You are just getting better."
When asked how he wanted it arranged, he said, "Just put
'You are not getting older at the top, and 'You are just getting better at the bottom."
It wasn't until the good doctor was ready to servethe cake that he discovered it read:
"You
are not getting older at the top, 'You are just getting better at the
bottom."
A
wife decides to take her husband to a strip club for his 40th birthday.
They arrive at the club and the doorman says, “Hey, John! How ya doin’?”
His wife is puzzled and asks if he’s been to this club before.
“Oh, no,” says John. “He’s in my bowling team.”
When they are seated, a waitress asks John if he’d like his usual and brings over a Budweiser.
His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says,
”How did she know that you drink Budweiser?”
“She’s in the Ladies’ Bowling League, honey.
We share lanes with them.”
A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around John, and says “Hi Johnny.
Want your usual table dance, big boy?”
John’s wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club.
John follows and spots her getting into a cab.
Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her.
He tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is screaming at him and calling him every name in the book.
The cabby turns his head and says, “Looks like you picked up a real bitch tonight, John.”
-- Funny 40th Birthday Jokes --
Peter was just turning 40 and he had been playing golf in all his life.
He comes home one day and says to his wife,
"that's it, i will have to give up golf, my eyesight is that bad I can't see where the boll is going anymore."
His wife is trying to cheer him up and says,
"sure you can give it one more go. Take my brother with you."
"What good is that," says Peter. "He's nearly 90."
"He may be nearly 90 but his eyesight is perfect," says the wife.
Off they go the next day to play golf.
Peter is a bit shaken up because of the previous day,
but confident in his brother-in-law's eyesight.
He tees up, breaths slowly and steps forward.
And all mighty swing - drives the ball down the fairway.
He turns to the brother-in-law and asks, "did you see the ball?"
"Of course Peter" replied the brother-in-law. "I have perfect eyesight".
Peter is all excited, turns back again and says "Where did it go?"
(Split second silent) "I don't remember".
-- Funny 40th Birthday Jokes --
An eye-doctor was having his 40th birthday, and gathered lots of friends and family in his house.
His wife had made him a surprise cake, and led her husband blindfolded to a table where the cake was placed.
Eagerly the doctor removed and looked down on the cake, and immediately burst into a crazed laughter, for there in front of him was a huge cake, with 40 marzipan eyes!
The guest asked him why he laughed, and whipping his eyes, the doctor said:
"I'm just thinking of my buddy who will be 50 next week, who is a gynecologist!"
-- Funny 40th Birthday Jokes --
It was Jim's 40th birthday, and he was considered to be an "old man" by his friends standards.
So,
to liven him up
a bit, Jim's friends decided to give him something special for his
birthday. They bought him a hooker.
The
call girl, as she preferred to be called, went to his house and knocked
on the door. When Jim answered, she said "Hi I'm your birthday present!"
Startled, he asked "What am I supposed to do with you?"
"I'm yours for super sex," she answers.
So Jim replied "Well, I'm 75 years old so I'll have the soup."
-- Funny 40th Birthday Jokes --
A husband asked his wife what she wanted for her 40th birthday.
"Would you like a new mink coat?" he asked.
"Not really," said the wife.
"Well how about a new Mercedes sports car?" said the husband.
"No," she responded
"What about a new vacation home in the country?" he suggested
She again rejected his offer.
"Well what would you like for your birthday?" the husband asked.
"I'd like a divorce," answered the wife.
"Sorry, I wasn't planning to spend that much," said the husband.
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