50TH WEDDING ANNIVERSARY JOKES


Funny 50th Wedding Anniversary Jokes

There was a couple married for 50 years and on the 50th anniversary the wife saw the husband crying and she told him "honey i never knew that after 50 years you would still love me the same way you did 50 years ago".

The husband looks at the wife and asks her "honey, do you remember 50 years ago when your father caught us behind the barn naked?"

And the wife says yes, the man replies do you remember what your father told me that day?

She replies no.

The husband replies he told me that if I don't marry you he would have me locked up in prison for 50 years.

The wife looks at the husband and says "and?"

So the husband replies "I could have been a free man by now"

On their 50th wedding anniversary, a couple summed up the reason for their long and happy marriage.

The husband said, "I have tried never to be selfish. After all, there is no 'I' in the word 'marriage.'"

The wife said, "For my part, I have never corrected my husband's spelling."

-- 50th Wedding Anniversary Jokes --


An aged farmer and his wife were leaning against the edge of their pig pen when the old woman wistfully recalled that the next week would mark their golden wedding anniversary.

"Let's have a party, Homer," she suggested. "Let's kill a pig."

The farmer scratched his grizzled head. "Gee, Ethel," he finally answered, "I don't see why the pig should take the blame for something that happened fifty years ago."

-- 50th Wedding Anniversary Jokes --


A man and his wife were celebrating 50 years together.

Their three kids, all very successful, agreed to a Sunday dinner in their honor.

"Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad," gushed son number one.

"Sorry I'm running late. I had an emergency at the hospital with a patient, you know how it is, and didn't have time to get you a gift."

"Not to worry," said the father, "The important thing is that we're all together today."

Son number two arrived and announced, "You and Mom look great, Dad. I just flew in from Los Angeles between depositions and didn't have time to shop for you."

"It's nothing," said the father, "We're glad you were able to come."

Then the daughter arrived, "Hello and happy anniversary! I'm sorry, but my boss is sending me out of town and I was really busy packing so I didn't have time to get you anything."

After they had finished dessert, the father said, "There's something your mother and I have wanted to tell you for a long time."

"You see, we were very poor. Despite this, we were able to send each of you to college."

"Throughout the years your mother and I knew that we loved each other very much, but we just never found the time to get married."

The three children gasped and all said, "You mean we're bastards?"

"Yep," said the father, "And cheap ones too."
-- 50th Wedding Anniversary Jokes --


A couple were celebrating their 50th Wedding anniversary.

Their domestic tranquility had long been the talk of the town.

A local newspaper reporter was inquiring as to the secret of the long and happy marriage.

'Well, it dates back to our honeymoon,' explained the husband.

'We visited the Grand Canyon and took at trip down to the bottom of the canyon by pack mule.

We hadn't gone too far when my wife's mule stumbled.

My wife quietly said, "That's once."

We proceeded a little further when the mule stumbled again.

Once more my wife quietly said, "That's twice."

We hadn't gone half a mile when the mule stumbled a third time.

My wife took a pistol out of her pocket and shot the mule.

'I started to protest over her treatment of the mule when she looked at me and quietly said, "That's once."

"And we lived happily ever after"......

-- 50th Wedding Anniversary Jokes -- 50th Wedding Anniversary Jokes --

Sam and Becky are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary.

Sam says to Becky, "Becky, I was wondering - have you ever cheated on me?"

Becky replies, "Oh Sam, why would you ask such a question now?

You don't want to ask that question..."

"Yes, Becky, I really want to know. Please..."

"Well, all right. Yes, 3 times..."

"Three? Well, when were they?" he asked.

"Well, Sam, remember when you were 35 years old and you really wanted to start the business on your own and no bank would give you a loan?

Remember, then one day the bank president himself came over the house and signed the loan papers, no questions asked?"

"Oh, Becky, you did that for me! I respect you even more than ever, to do such a thing for me. So, when was number 2?"

"Well, Sam, remember when you had that last heart attack and you were needing that very tricky operation, and no surgeon would touch you?

Then remember how Dr. DeBakey came all the way up here, to do the surgery himself, and then you were in good shape again?"

"I can't believe it! Becky, you should do such a thing for me, to save my l ife.

I couldn't have a more wonderful wife.

To do such a thing, you must really love me darling.

I couldn't be more moved. So, all right then, when was number 3?"

"Well, Sam, remember a few years ago, when you really wanted to be president of the golf club and you were 17 votes short..?"

-- 50th Wedding Anniversary Jokes --

An old couple is having breakfast when the old woman says to her husband, "Just think, honey, we've been married for 50 years.?"

"Yes," he replies. "Fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together. And we were probably naked as jaybirds."

"Well," the old woman snickers, "should we get naked again for old time's sake?"

So they strip off their clothing and sit back down at the table. "You know," the old woman says breathlessly, "my nipples are as hot for you today as they were 50 years ago."

"I'm not surprised," replies the old man. "One's in your coffee and the other's in your oatmeal!"




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