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Monthly Jokes from Issue #014-- Nov 10
December 01, 2010

Hello Everyone!

Time for Christmas jokes - from Australia!

It's in the middle of the summer here :-)

Australian Christmas..
Here comes Santa Claus, here comes Santa Claus,
Sweating his fat away
Here comes Santa Claus, here comes Santa Claus,
Water-skis on his sleigh

Never have a white Christmas
When you in Melbourne live
Wearing hot pants on the beach
When you your presents give

Here comes Santa Claus, here comes Santa Claus,
Sweating his fat away
Here comes Santa Claus, here comes Santa Claus,
Water-skis on his sleigh

Chestnuts roasting on the sidewalk
Castles in the sand
Eating ice-cream, having good talks
Summer Christmas, isn't that grand?


What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?
It's Christmas, Eve

How do you make an idiot laugh on boxing day?
Tell him a joke on Christmas Eve

How long does it take to burn a candle down?
About a wick

Whats happens to you at Christmas?
Yule be happy

What happens if you eat the Christmas decorations?
You get tinsel-itus

What do you give a train driver for Christmas?
Platform shoes

What do you get if you cross an apple with a Christmas tree?
A pineapple

What did Dracula say at the Christmas party?
Fancy a bite?

What do vampires put on their turkey at Christmas?

What did the big candle say to the little candle?
I'm going out tonight

Why is a burning candle like being thirsty?
Beacause a little water ends both of them

We had grandma for Christmas dinner?
Really, we had turkey

What did the bald man say when he got a comb for Christmas?
Thanks, I'll never part with it

Mum, Can I have a dog for Christmas?
No you can have turkey like everyone else

Why are Christmas trees like bad knitters?
They both drop their needles

Did you hear about the party with lots of fireworks, balloons and crackers?
It went with a bang

Why couldn't the skeleton go to the Christmas Party?
He had no body to go with

Whats the best thing to put into a Christmas cake?
Your teeth

What did the guest sing at the Eskimo's Christmas party? Freeze a jolly fellow

Who is never hungry at Christmas?
The turkey - he's always stuffed

What bird has wings but cannot fly?
Roast turkey

What beats his chest and swings from Christmas cake to Christmas cake?

Why is Santa like a bear on Christmas Eve?
Because he's Sooty

How did the chickens dance at the Christmas party?
Chick to chick

How many chimney does Father Christmas go down?

Did you hear about Dracula's Christmas party?
It was a scream

Who delievers elephants's Christmas present?
Elephanta Claus

Why does Father Christmas go down the chimney?
Because it soots him

What would you do if you saw Dracula, Frankenstein & The Swamp Thing?
Hope they were going as a fancy dress party

Who delievers cat's Christmas presents?
Santa Paws

Did you hear about the man who went to the fancy dress party as a bone?
A dog ate him in the hall

What do you call a letter sent up the chimney on Christmas Eve?
Black mail

Why couldn't the butterfly go to the Chistmas ball?
It was a moth ball

What party game did Jekyll like best?
Hyde and Seek

What does Father Christmas suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney?
Santa Claustrophobia

Wish you ALL the best for Christmas!!!


1. December 2010

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