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Monthly Jokes from Issue #016-- Jan 11
January 01, 2011

Hello Everyone!

Did you make your new years resolutions yet?

Here are a few ideas..

I will stop exercising. I want to gain weight.

I will drink more.

I will read less. Makes you think.

I will get further in debt.

I will save water and use more deodorant.

I will watch more TV. I've been missing some good stuff.

I will balance my checkbook. (on my nose).

I will get less organised.

I will be more imaginative.

I will start being superstitious.

I will ignore my faults and focus on the faults of others.

I will speak in a monotone voice and only use monosyllabic words.

I will no longer waste my time relieving the past, instead I will spend it worrying about the future.

I will not ring the stewardess button on airplanes just to get her phone number.

I will not hang around girls - they think you love them and that sucks.

I will spend more time at work, surfing with the T1.

I will associate with even worse business clients.

I will not bore my boss by with the same excuse for taking leaves. I will think of some more excuses.

I will not tell the same story at every get-together.

I will take up a new habit. Maybe smoking!?

I will give up chocolate completely. 100%. Totally. Honestly.....

I will stop checking my emails on the way to the toilet when i wake up 3am.

I will figure out why I *really* need seven e-mail addresses.

I will stop saying LOL instead of laughing.

I will get a better password than "password".

I resolve to back up my 12GB hard drive daily...well, once a week...okay, monthly then...or maybe... at least once a year.

I will stop emailing my wife and go to the kitchen instead and talk to her.

I will stop tilting my head when i smile :-)

I will not buy magazines with AOL disks bound in just to get another 1.44MB disk.

I will stop going to control panel to add or remove someone to or from my life.

When I subscribe to a newsgroup or mailing list, I will read all the mail I get from it.

I will stop using "search" button when i am looking for my car keys.

When I hear "Where do you want to go today?" I won't reply "MS Tech Support."

I will stop clicking on "run" to do my daily exercise.

I will NOT spend my summer vacation in Cyberspace.

I will ring my mother even though she doesn't have email.

I will stay on the computer as long as I want. What? Okay, dear... I'm coming. Never mind!


Send this to four women and you will lose 2kg.

Send this to all the women you know (or ever knew) and you will lose 10kg.

IF you delete this message you will gain 20kg.

See ya next month :-)


1. January 2011

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