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Monthly Jokes, Issue #020-- May 2011
April 27, 2011

Hi people,

I couldn't help myself..

With the royal wedding happening tomorrow, I had to send this month's newsletter a few days earlier..

Please don't take it in a wrong way and think it's offensive - I have full respect for all those people, but it's always good to have a laugh :-)

Well, there are a few royal wedding jokes around, here are some of them...

I think I'm getting too excited about the upcoming

wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton.

.......................I've been fighting royal Di-arrhea.

The British pub chain Crown Carveries commissioned food artist Prudence Staite to create a wedding image out of food for the marriage of Prince William and Kate Middleton.

It is composed of ham, turkey, cheese and vegetables. The vegetables are in honor of the Queen Mother, the ham represents Prince Harry, the turkey is represents Prince Charles, and Camilla will be cutting the cheese during the wedding.

I hope they put Kate Middleton on the stamps, I wouldn’t mind licking the backside of her.

Prince William and Kate Middleton will be tying the knot at the end of the month.

Kate has gone on record saying she likes to call her future husband "Big Willy".

I'll bet her family is glad she's not marrying someone named Richard.

BBC NEWS: Kate Middleton has ring made smaller.

Bet Will is happy with that!

Prince William & Kate Middleton’s upcoming royal wedding will be live streamed on YouTube.

This will be much different than William’s parent’s royal wedding which was live streamed on a television tube.

Sky news: Kate to be next Queen

As long as she can grow a silly tash and sing Bohemian Rhapsody i suppose i could live with that.

Kate Middleton is not having problems with the marriage vow – “to love honour and obey”

Its the answer “Till MI5 do us part” thats causing her problems.

Unlike most models, the William and Kate Pez figures will not dispense candy through their mouths.

Instead the whole head bends back. The company is now working on a Prince Charles' edition.

The candy comes out both ears.

Great News! Britain finally has a new People’s Princess.

Audley Harrison.

Sky News: “Prince William and Kate Middleton engaged”.

F***ing tell me about it, I’ve been trying to get through to them all day to congratulate them both on her pregnancy.

A new Conservative government, crippling financial cuts and now a royal wedding? Probably best to avoid the Falklands for a bit…

Prince William calls home, maid answers phone.

He says, “Can I speak to my wife?”

She says, “No she’s upstairs in bed with her boyfriend.”

He’s maid-says, “Ok, go the the hall closet and take out my shotgun.

Go upstairs and kill them both.

“Being the loyal maid, she says, “Ok.” they’re both dead. What should I do with the bodies?”

He says, “Throw them in the pool, and I’ll take care of them when I get home.”

She says, “We don’t have a pool.”

He asks, “Is this 441415770236?”

Have a great month, see ya on the 1st of June..


28. April 2011

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