APPROPRIATE BLONDE JOKES
"Appropriate Blonde Jokes.. Blondes at Work..."
A blonde decided to hire herself out as a handyman and started canvassing a wealthy neighbourhood.
She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.
"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage.
The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband,
"Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked.
"Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats.
"Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50.
"And by the way,"
the blonde
added, "that's not
a Porch, it's a Ferrari.
Green Side Up!
A painting contractor was speaking with a woman about her decorating job.
In the first room she said she would like a pale blue.
The contractor wrote this down and went to the window, opened it, and yelled out
"Green side up!"
In the second room she told the painter she would like it painted in a soft yellow.
He wrote this on his pad, walked to the window, opened it, and yelled "Green side up!"
The lady was somewhat curious but she said nothing.
In the third room she said she would like it painted a warm rose color.
The painter wrote this down, walked to the window, opened it and yelled "Green side up!"
The lady then asked him, "Why do you keep yelling 'Green side up'?"
"I'm sorry," says the painter.
"I have a crew of blondes laying a lawn across the street."
Appropriate Blonde Jokes -- Mysterious Deaths
There was this case in the hospital’s Intensive Care ward where patients always died in the same bed, on Sunday morning at 11am, regardless of their medical condition.
This puzzled the doctors and some even thought that it had something to do with the supernatural.
So the doctors decide to go down to the ward to investigate the cause of the incidents.
On the next Sunday morning few minutes before 11am, all doctors and nurses nervously wait outside the ward to see for themselves what the terrible phenomenon was all about.
Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer books and other holy objects to ward off the evil.
Just when the clock struck 11.. the blonde cleaning lady entered the ward and unplugged the life support system so that he could use the vacuum hoover.
Appropriate Blonde Jokes -- Important Document File
The boss who was on the 25th floor of the building called up the blonde secretary on the ground floor for an important file.
Since it was rather urgent the boss told the secretary it was an emergency and that she should hurry with the file.
After more than 30 minutes the blonde appears all tired and panting for breath.
The Boss asks him why he was panting and what caused the huge delay.
The blonde secretary replies, "When I went to the lift it said 'during an emergency please use the staircase"!
Appropriate Blonde Jokes -- New Dumb Blonde Jokes
A blonde comes to the office with one black shoe and one white shoe.
His boss starts to yell at him:
"You are ruining office reputation, go home and change the shoes".
The blonde goes
home, and comes
back after a while.
"Boss I don't know what to do now. The other pair of shoes at home also has one white and one black shoe.
Appropriate Blonde Jokes -- Blonde Lady Paints The Road
The county advertised for a new employee to paint the white lines down the middle of the roads.
A blonde lady was the only applicant and she got the job.
On the first day, she painted an impressive 50 miles of road, and her boss was happy with her.
On her second day, she painted 25 miles of road, and her boss thought that was just fine.
On her third day she painted only 15 miles of road, and her boss was starting to get concerned.
On her fourth day she painted a mere 7 miles of road. Her boss asked her why she kept painting less and less road.
"Well," she
answered, "each day
the paint bucket is further and further
away!"
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