Funny Army Jokes

By the time a Marine pulled into a little town, every hotel room was taken. "You've got to have a room somewhere," he pleaded. "Or just a bed, I don't care where."

"Well, I do have a double room with one occupant a Navy guy," admitted the manager, "and he might be glad to split the cost.

But to tell you the truth, he snores so loudly that people in adjoining rooms have complained in the past. I'm not sure it would be worth it to you."

"No problem," the tired Marine assured him. "I'll take it." The next morning the Marine came down to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.

"How did you sleep?" asked the manager. "Never better," replied the Marine. The manager was impressed.

"No problem with the other guy snoring, then?"

"Nope, I shut him up in no time," said the Marine.

"How did you manage that?" asked the manager.

"He was already in bed, snoring away, when I came in the room," the Marine explained.

"I went over, gave him a kiss on the cheek, said, 'Goodnight, beautiful,' and he sat up all night watching me."

Q: How do you know if there is a fighter pilot at your party?

        A: He'll tell you.

Q: What's the difference between God and fighter pilots

        A: God doesn't think he's a fighter pilot.

-- Army Jokes --

Q: What's the difference between a fighter pilot and a jet engine?

        A: A jet engine stops whining when the plane shuts down.

-- Army Jokes --

A large group of Taliban soldiers are moving down a road when they

hear a voice call from behind a sand-dune.

"One Australian SAS soldier is better than ten Taliban".

The Taliban Commander quickly sends 10 of his best soldiers over the dune where upon a gun-battle breaks out and continues for a few minutes, then silience.

The voice then calls out "One Australian SAS soldier is better than one hundred Taliban".

Furious, the Taliban Commander sends his next best 100 troops over the dune and instantly a huge gunfight commences.  After 10 minutes of battle, again silience.

The Australian voice calls out again "One Australian SAS soldier is better than one thousand Taliban".

The enraged Taliban Commander musters one thousand fighters and sends them across the dune.  Cannon, rocket and machine gun fire ring out as a huge battle is fought.  Then silience.

Eventually one wounded Taliban fighter crawls back over the dune and with his dying words tells his commander, "Don't send any more men, its a trap.  There's actually two of them."

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