Aussie Jingle
Bells
Dashing through the bush
In a rusty Holden Ute
Kicking up the dust
Esky in the boot
Kelpie by my side
Singing Christmas songs
It's summer time and I am in
My singlet, shorts & thongs
CHORUS:
OH, JINGLE BELLS, JINGLE BELLS
JINGLE ALL THE WAY
CHRISTMAS IN AUSTRALIA
ON A SCORCHING SUMMER'S DAY
JINGLE BELLS, JINGLE BELLS
CHRISTMAS TIME IS BEAUT
OH WHAT FUN IT IS TO RIDE
IN A RUSTY HOLDEN UTE
Engine's getting hot
Dodge the kangaroos
Swaggy climbs aboard
He is welcome too
All the family is there
Sitting by the pool
Christmas day, the Aussie way
By the barbecue!
CHORUS
Come the afternoon
Grandpa has a doze
The kids and uncle Bruce
Are swimming in their clothes
The time comes round to go
We take a family snap
Then pack the car and all shoot through
Before the washing up
CHORUS
12 Days
Of Christmas
On the first day of Christmas, my true love sent to me
A kookaburra in a gum tree
On the second day of Christmas, my true love sent to me
Two cockatoos, and a kookaburra in a gum tree
Three parakeets.........
Four great galahs.......
Five opals black......
Six 'roos a-jumping........
Seven emus running.......
Eight koalas clinging.........
Nine wombats waddling........
Ten dingoes dashing.......
Eleven snakes a-sliding.......
Twelve goannas going.......
On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love sent to me
Twelve goanna goin, Eleven snakes a-sliding,
Ten dingoes dashing, Nine wombats waddling,
Eight koalas clinging, Seven emus running,
Six 'roos a-jumping, Five opals black,
Four great galahs, Three parakeets,
Two cockatoos, And a kookaburra up a gum tree.
-- Australian Christmas Carols --
Santa Claus In The Bush
By Andrew Barton (Banjo) Patterson
It chanced out back at the Christmas time, When the wheat was ripe and
tall,
A stranger rode to the farmer's gate--A sturdy man and a small.
"Rin doon, rin doon, my little son Jack, and bid the stranger stay,
And we'll hae a crack for Auld Lang Syne, for the morn is Christmas
day."
"Nay noo, nay noo," said the dour guidwife, "But ye should let him be,
He's maybe only a drover chap, From the land o' the Darling Pea."
"Wi a drovers tales, and a drover's thirst tae swiggle the hail nicht
through,
Or he's maybe a life assurance carle, to talk ye black and blue."
"Guidwife, he's never a drover chap for their swags are neat and thin,
And he's never a life assurance carl with the brick dust burnt in his
skin."
"Guidwife, guidwife, be nae sae dour---for the wheat stands ripe and
tall
And we shore a seven pound fleece this year, ewes and weaners and all."
-- Australian Christmas Carols --
"There is grass to spare and the stock are fat, where they whiles are
gaunt and thin,
And we owe a tithe to the travellin' poor, so we maun ask him in."
"Ye can set him a chair at table side and gie him a bite tae eat,
An omelette made of a new-laid egg, or a tasty bit o' meat."
"But the native cats hae taen fowls--they havena left a leg,
And he'll get nae omelette at a' till the emu lays an egg."
"Rin doon, rin doon, my little son Jack, "to whaur the emus bide,
Ye shall find the auld hen on the nest while the auld cock sits beside."
"But speak them fair and speak them saft lest they kick ye a fearful
jolt,
Ye can gie them a feed of the half inch nails or a rusty carriage bolt."
-- Australian Christmas Carols --
So little son Jack ran blithely down with the rusty nails in hand,
Till he came where the emus fluffed and scratched by their nest in the
open sand.
And there he has gathered the new-laid egg---'twould feed 3 men or 4,
And the emus came for the half inch nails right up to the settlers door.
"A waste o' food," said the dour guidwife, as she took the egg with a
frown,
"But he gets nae meat unless ye rin a paddy-melon down."
"Gang oot, gang oot, my little son Jack---wi your twa-three doggies sma,
Gin ye come nae back wi a paddy-melon, then come nae back at a'."
So little son Jack he raced and he ran and he was bare o' the feet,
And soon he captured a paddy-melon---was gorged with stolen wheat.
-- Australian Christmas Carols --
"Sit doon,
sit doon," my bonny
wee man; "to the best that the hoose can do,
An omelette made o' the emu egg, and a paddy melon stew."
"'Tis well, 'tis well", said the bonny wee man, "I have eaten the wide
world's meat,
And the food that is given with right good will is the sweetest food to
eat."
"But the night draws on to Christmas Day and I must rise and go,
For I have a mighty way to ride to the land of the Esquimaux."
"And it's there I must load my sledges up with the reindeers
four-in-hand,
That go to the North, South, East and West --- to every Christian land."
-- Australian Christmas Carols --
"Tae the
Esquimaux," said the
dour guidwife --- "ye suit my husband well,
For when he gets up on his journey horse he's a bit o' a liar himsel'."
Then out with a laugh went the bonny wee man -- to his old horse
grazing nigh,
And away like a meteor flash they went far off to the Northern sky.
When the children woke on the Christmas morn, they chattered with might
and main,
For s sword and a gun had little son Jack, and a braw new doll had Jane,
And a packet o' screws had the twa emus; but the dour guidwife got nane!
-- Australian Christmas Carols --
Deck The
Sheds With Bits Of
Wattle
This song is sung to the tune of "Deck The Halls"...
Deck the sheds with boughs of wattle
Rippa bloody beauty bonza mate!
Slice the cake and tip the bottle
Rippa bloody beauty bonza mate!
Of course these days most men are wiser
Rippa bloody beauty bonza mate!
Thinkin' of the breathiliser
Rippa bloody beauty bonza mate!
-- Australian Christmas Carols --
Yanks and
Pommies think its funny
Rippa bloody beauty bonza mate!
Christmas when its hot and sunny
Rippa bloody beauty bonza mate!
Don we now our swimmin' cossies
Rippa bloody beauty bonza mate!
Sunburn cream and stuff for mozzies
Rippa bloody beauty bonza mate!
Barbies are our Christmas joy boys
Rippa bloody beauty bonza mate!
Burn the steaks and crisp the snags boys
Rippa bloody beauty bonza mate!
-- Australian Christmas Carols --
Tomato sauce
the Christmas dinny
Rippa bloody beauty bonza mate!
Wash the lot down with a tinny
Rippa bloody beauty bonza mate!
No plum pudding, flaming brandy
Rippa bloody beauty bonza mate!
We prefer a keg that's handy
Rippa bloody beauty bonza mate!
-- Australian Christmas Carols --
Ham and
turkey cold with salad
Rippa bloody beauty bonza mate!
Rum and beer and song and ballad
Rippa bloody beauty bonza mate!
When the morning sun arises
Rippa bloody beauty bonza mate!
Oh! we of heads of different sizes
Rippa bloody beauty bonza mate!
Remember all the Christmas glory
Rippa bloody beauty bonza mate!
Now we're hung over - end of story
Rippa bloody beauty bonza mate!
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Short Hilarious Jokes from Australian Christmas Carols