BEACH BODY DIET JOKES

bEACH bODY dIET jOKES

As the summer approaches we all want to be in shape for the beach season.

On this page you will find links to different ways of dieting, as well as tips about how you can get around the hardest parts without having to starve yourself.

Let's start with a few facts.

Crash dieting can be dangerous when not done in the right way.

You also need a certain amount of exercise, and you need to have good sleeps.

Because of the effects of crash dieting you may want to diet slower and only diet during the weekends, while during the rest of the week you can concentrate on work and don't have to worry about what you eat - you can eat whatever you want.

-- Beach Body Diet Jokes --

Weekend diet is also good in the long term as crash diets usually mean you regain your weight fairly quick, while the longer you take to lose it, the longer you can keep the weight down after the dieting period.

So, from 8am on Monday to 6pm on Friday your are allowed to eat hamburgers, chips, pizzas, chocolate, whatever you feel like and you are still alright doing your beach body diet.

At 5pm on Friday, as soon as you finish work, go straight to the bottle shop and stock up the necessities for the weekend.

Get a carton of beer, a few bottles of wine and why not a bottle of Rum.

(don't forget Coke or whatever mixers you like, although for dieting purposes they need to be the low-calory versions).

-- Beach Body Diet Jokes --

Once at home with the load, open a beer and get ready for going to your favourite pub or bar.

This is a low-stress activity, so have a few beers before you go out and then keep consuming throughout the night.

You will notice that you will go without a dinner that night, as beer is fairly filling, and in case you would start feeling hungry, have a different drink, like rum.

Guiness will also eliminate your hunger feelings.

-- Beach Body Diet Jokes --

Meanwhile, throughout the night, you will notice that you are getting a lot of excercise by walking up to the bar and back when getting drinks;

and visiting the toilet between every couple of drinks.

Later on if you continue to a night club, you will get some true work-out when dancing.

You will get home late that night, but you will have a big sleep-in

(remember it was said before that it was important to have good sleeps while dieting).

In fact there is no reason to get out of the bed before pm hours when it is more ok to open a beer again.

This will minimise the time suffering from the dog that bit you last night.

-- Beach Body Diet Jokes --

You will notice that the last thing you want to think about is food, so you will skip the meals and instead you will take some Aspirin -

which is medically proven to be good for your heart.

After a few beers in the late afternoon, you will be ready for another exercise session.

If you want to increase the amount of exercise you get, a good tips can be to go on a pub crawl instead of staying in the same pub.

You will notice that you won't be able to consume quite as much as the previous night, but you are still not hungry.

You return home earlier, perhaps with a little less workout (dancing at the night club), but you have done more walking between the different institutions.

Also, as you get home a little earlier, you will have even better sleep.

-- Beach Body Diet Jokes --

On Sunday, you will get up a little earlier than on the previous day, starting to adjust your body clock back to more similar hours what it is used to during the week.

You will have an Aspirin again, and your appetite hasn't still returned.

During the first pm hour you are allowed to open a beer and you can go for a Sunday outing such as a football match, where you again get some exercise by walking to the bar and back while bringing drinks for yourself and your mates.

Starting the Sunday beach body diet session earlier means that you will get home even earlier than on the Saturday night.

In fact, it is not unusual on those football matches that you will be in the bed as early as 8 or 9pm, leaving you with more than enough time to have a really good sleep, while you still don't feel like eating.

-- Beach Body Diet Jokes --

On Monday morning, you will be feeling good and full of energy although you may still need an Aspirin and it may take until lunch time before your full apetite returns.

You feel really thin after the weekend diet so during the week you'll be able to eat whatever you want.

This beach body diet will slowly but surely make you loose weight in the long term, while keeping you happy, giving you good sleeps and exercise.

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NB This is a jokes site so please don't follow these beach body diet instructions in reality and then blaim us!

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