BEST CLEAN BLONDE JOKES


Best Clean Blonde Jokes - Blondes on Airplanes

A blonde was sitting in economy class on a flight from Seattle to Chicago.




About half way through the flight, she got up and moved to an empty seat in first class.

A flight attendant who observed this, went over to her and politely explained that she had to move back to economy class because that was what her ticket was for.

The blonde replied, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Chicago and I'm staying right here."

After several attempts to explain to the blonde why she had to return to economy class, the flight attendant gave up.

She went to the cockpit and explained the situation to the pilot and co-pilot.

"Wait a minute," said the pilot.

"Did you say she's blonde? I can handle this. My wife is a blonde. I speak Blonde."

So he went up to the woman sitting in first class and whispered something in her ear.

"I'm sorry," said the blonde, and she promptly got up and returned to her seat in economy class.

"What did you say to her?" asks the astonished flight attendant and co-pilot.

"I just told her that first class isn't going to Chicago", the pilot replied.

-- Best Clean Blonde Jokes -- Dumb Blonde Joke Stories --

Airport Security alerted an airline crew to keep an eye a blond passenger who appeared excessively nervous and shifty-eyed.

Soon after takeoff, the blond man called a stewardess to his seat and said, "I have a live grenade in my pocket.

I'll blow up the plane if you do not divert to Cairo."

Perplexed, the stewardess said, "But, sir. This is TWA flight 1219 to Cairo."

"Damn!" replied the blond passenger, "I got on the wrong plane."

Best Clean Blonde Jokes -- Clean Dumb Blonde Jokes --


As a Delta Air Lines jet was flying over Arizona on a clear day, the copilot was providing his passengers with a commentary about landmarks over the PA system.

"Coming up on the right, you can see the Meteor Crater, which is a major tourist attraction in northern Arizona.

It was formed when a lump of nickel and iron, roughly 150 feet in diameter and weighing 300,000 tons struck the earth at about 40,000 miles an hour, scattering white-hot debris for miles in every direction.

The hole measures nearly a mile across and is 570 feet deep."

From the cabin, a blonde passenger was heard to exclaim, "Wow! It just missed the highway!"

-- Best Clean Blonde Jokes -- Best Clean Blonde Jokes --





Once there were three people in an airplane, one took a bite out of an apple.

She thought it was too sweet so she threw it out of the plane.

The second person took a bite out of a lemon and she thought it was too sour, so she threw it out of the plane.

Then the last person took a bite out of a grenade and he thought it was too crunchy so, he threw it out of the plane.

They finally landed and went for a walk.

They first passed a little girl who was crying and they asked, "little girl, why are you crying?" and the girl said, "an apple came down from the sky and killed my new kitty".

Next they passed a little boy who was also crying. And they again asked, "little boy, why are you crying?" and the little boy said, "a lemon came down from the sky and killed my new puppy."

Then they passed a blonde sitting on the side walk laughing her head off.

They asked, "why are you laughing so hard?" and the blonde said, "I farted and the building behind me blew up!!"

-- Best Clean Blonde Jokes -- Smart Blonde Joke --


A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY.

The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game?

The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap. Politely she declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.

The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun.

He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5.00, and vise versa."

Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep.

The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5.00, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $50.00."

This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game.

The lawyer asks the first question.

"What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"

The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill and hands it to the lawyer.

"Okay," says the lawyer," your turn." She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?"

The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references.

No answer.

He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the Internet and the Library of Congress.

No answer.

Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers, but no respose.

After an hour, he wakes the blonde and hands her $50.00.

The blonde says, "Thank you," puts her head on the pillow and goes back to sleep.

The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks,

"Well, what's the answer?"

Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep.




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