BEST MEXICAN JOKES
Aimara, a Mexican maid announced to her Boss Mr Blanco and his wife that she was quitting.
When asked why, she replied, "I'm in the family way."
The wife was totally surprised and shocked, and asked who it was.
The maid replied, "Your husband and your son."
Mrs Blanco was mortified and demanded an explanation.
"Well," Aimara explained, "I go to the library to clean it and your husband say,
'You are in the way'.
I go to the living room to clean and your son say 'You are in my way'. So I'm in the family way and I quit."
-- Best Mexican Jokes -- Good Mexican Joke --
There is an American, a German, and a Mexican in a boat is about to sink.
They start throwing out unnecessary things to make the boat lighter.
The German throws out 4 cases of beer and says,
"We have a lot of beer in Germany so we don't need these!"
The Mexican throws out 5 cases of burritos and says,
"We have a lot of burritos in Mexico so we don't need these!"
Then the American grabs the Mexican and throws him out.
-- Best Mexican Jokes -- Very Funny Mexican Jokes --
Three men are traveling in the Amazon, a German, an American, and a Mexican, and they get captured by some Amazons.
The head of the tribe says to the German,
"What do you want on your back for your whipping?"
The German responds, "I will take oil!"
So they put oil on his back, and a large Amazon whips him ten times.
When he is finished the German has these huge welts on his back, and he can hardly move.
The Amazons haul the German away, and say to the Mexican,
"What do you want on your back?"
"I will take nothing!" says the Mexican, and he stands there straight and takes his ten lashings without a single flinch.
"What will you take on your back?" the Amazons ask the American.
He responds, "I'll take the Mexican."
-- Best Mexican Jokes -- Black and Mexican Joke --
The Mencias, a Mexican family freely cross over the border to the Land of Milk and Honey where all the streets have been paved with shiny gold.
But the husband couldn't find a place to work..
His family was starving so he went to the top of a big hill, kneeled down under a base of a tree, and started praying:
"Jesus, show me the way to feed mi familia, por favor!"
He had his eyes closed so he does not see the black man coming over the top of the hill, who is stumbling wildly with a broken grocery sack.
When the Mexican man opens his eyes, a large wheel of cheddar cheese rolls down the hill an lands at his feet!
"Thank you Jesus, thank you so much!" he cries, grabs the cheese, and runs towards his home.
When he returned home, he gave the cheese to his wife and instructed her to make nachos.
"But wouldn't you rather have cheese enchiladas and burritos and other things?" she inquires.
"No," the husband says, "Jesus sent this to me with a message... as I ran home, I kept hearing him yell, 'FOR PEOPLE'S SAKE, THAT'S NACHO CHEESE! THAT'S NACHO CHEESE!'
-- Best Mexican Jokes -- Mexican Men Jokes --
A big tough Mexican man married a good-looking Mexican lady and after the wedding, laid down the following rules:
“Honey, I’ll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want – and I don’t expect any hassle from you.
I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you otherwise.
I’ll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don’t you give me a hard time about it.
Those are my rules! Any comments?”
His lovely new bride said,
“No, that’s fine with me.
Just
understand that there’ll be sex here at eight o’clock every night
– whether you’re here or not.”
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