BLONDE RUDE JOKES
Two Blondes rob a bank and mess it up, only managing to escape with two sacks that they find on the floor.
They take one sack each and lose each other in the escaping process.
They meet again many moths later and one asks the other, 'What did you find in your sack?'
'One Million Dollars!'
'Wow... that's great! What did you do with the cash?'
'I bought a house. How about your sack?
'Bah... it was full of bills.
'And what did you do with them?
'Eh, well... little by little, I'm paying them off...'
Blonde Rude Jokes -- Proof That Blondes Are Not Really Dumb
This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all the blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes aren't really that stupid.
While her husband is at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house.
The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand.
Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and detects the smell of paint.
He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat.
He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at the same time.
He goes over and asks her if she is OK.
She replies, "Yes."
He asks what she is doing.
She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by painting the house.
He then asks her why she has on a ski jacket and a fur coat.
She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and they said, "For best results, put on two coats."
Blonde Rude Jokes -- Dumb Blonde and Jokes
January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.
February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels. Bottles won't fit in typewriter!
March - Got excited. Finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months. The box said "2-4 years"!
April - Trapped on escalator for hours. Power went out.
May - Tried to make Kool-Aid. Eight cups of water won't fit into those little packets.
June - Tried to go water skiing. Couldn't find a lake with a slope.
July - Lost breast stroke swimming competition. Learned later, other swimmers cheated, they used their arms.
August - Got locked out of car in rain storm. Car swamped, because top was down.
September - The capital of California is "C".....isn't it???
October - Hate M & M's.. They are so hard to peel.
November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days. Instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!
December - Couldn't call 911. There's no "eleven" button on the phone!
Blonde Rude Jokes -- Stupid Blonde Rude Jokes
A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small town in Arkansas.
With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde in the 4th row stands on her chair and starts shouting:
"I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes
What makes you think you can stereotype women that way?
What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being?
It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person.
Because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes, but women in general, and all in the name of humor!"
The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize, and the blonde yells,
"You stay out of
this, mister!
I'm
talking to that little shit on your knee."
Blonde Rude Jokes -- Stupid Blonde Rude Jokes -- You've Got Mail
A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his blonde neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox.
She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house.
A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mailbox and again opened it, slammed it shut again and went back into the house.
As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out again, marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.
Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, “Are you ok?”
She replied, “Certainly not!”
My
stupid
computer keeps saying, “You’ve got mail!”
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Funny Blonde
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