Funny Chemistry Jokes

A chemist walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist, "Do you have any acetylsalicylic acid?"

"You mean aspirin?" asked the pharmacist.

"That's it, I can never remember that word."

A group of organic molecules were having a party, when a group of robbers broke into the room and stole all of the guest’s joules.

A tall, strong man, armed with a machine gun came into the room and killed the robbers one by one.

The guests were very grateful to this man, and they wanted to know who he was.

He replied: My name is BOND, Covalent Bond.

--- Chemistry Jokes ---

A psychotic chemist came home from work and had a big fight with his wife.

In the heat of the moment, he grabbed a bottle of some lethal chemical substance and forced her to drink it while he screamed: "Die Ethyl, die".

The wife dropped dead on the floor and the neighbors who were watching the scene, decided to call the police.

The policemen arrived and arrested the chemist.

One of them asked: Was there any reason for you to kill your wife?

The chemist replied: "There was no chemistry between us.

We never bonded well although we tried.

In the compound where we lived, our temperaments collided.

She always responded negatively to my comments.

Our relationship was unstable.

There was no possible solution.

She had an attitude and I was explosive.

Finally, I overreacted.

But now I'm glad it's over.

I'm in equilibrium again.

I will feel free even behind the irons."

--- Chemistry Jokes ---

A student comes into his lab class right at the end of the hour.

Fearing he'll get an "F", he asks a fellow student what she's been doing.

"We've been observing water under the microscope.

We're suppose to write up what we see."

The page of her notebook is filled with little figures resembling circles and ellipses with hair on them.

The panic-stricken student hears the bell go off, opens his notebook and writes,

"During this laboratory,

I examined water under the microscope and I saw twice as many Hs as Os."

--- Chemistry Jokes and Other School Jokes ---

A freshman chemistry student prepared a standard solution and showed it to her professor.

The professor gave her a puzzled look, and said: This solution looks a bit WEIRD.

Are you sure you used the right set of reagents?

The student replied: Absolutely.

According to my calculations, this is one NORMAL solution.

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