Funny Christian Jokes Humor

Little Johnny went to his mother demanding a new bicycle.

His mother decided that he should take a look at himself and the way he acts.

She said, "Well Johnny, it isn't Christmas and we don't have the money to just go out and buy you anything you want.

So why don't you write a letter to Jesus and pray for one instead."

Little Johnny sat down to write a letter to Jesus.

Dear Jesus, I've been a good boy this year and would appreciate a new bicycle. Your Friend, Johnny

But Johnny knew that Jesus really knew what kind of boy he was.

So he ripped up the letter and decided to give it another try.

Dear Jesus, I've been an OK boy this year and I want a new bicycle.
Yours truly, Johnny

Well, Johnny knew this wasn't totally honest either so he tore it up and tried again.

Dear Jesus, I've thought about being a good boy this year and can I have a bicycle? Johnny

Well Johnny looked deep down in his heart, which by the way was what his mother really wanted.

He knew he had been terrible and deserved nothing.

He crumpled up the letter, threw it in the bin and went out of the house.

He aimlessly wandered about depressed because of the way he treated his parents and really considered his actions.

He finally found himself in front of a Catholic church.

Johnny went inside and knelt down, looking around, not knowing what he should really do.

He finally got up and began walking out the door past all the statues.

All of a sudden he grabbed a statue of the Virgin Mary and ran out the door.

He went home, hit the statue under his bed and wrote:

Jesus, I've got your mum. If you ever want to see her again, give me a bike.


Funny Christian Jokes Humor -- God Jokes and Christian Jokes Humor

An atheist was walking through the woods, thinking to himself,

"How beautiful are the animals!"

"How majestic are the trees!"

"How powerful are the rivers!"

As he walked along the river, he heard rustling in the bushes behind him.

He turned and saw an 8-foot grizzly bear charging towards him.

He ran along the path as fast as he could, but when he looked over his shoulder, he saw that the bear was closing in on him.

He kept running, but when he looked over his shoulder again, and the bear was even closer.

Then he tripped and fell on the ground.

The bear was right on top of him with his right paw raised to strike him.

At that instant, the atheist cried, "God help me!"

Time Stopped. The bear froze. The forest went silent.

A bright light shone upon the man and a voice from the sky said,

"You've denied my existence for all these years and have taught others that I don't exist.

You've even credited creation to a cosmic accident.

Why would you expect me to help you out of this predicament?

Are you now a believer?"

The atheist looked into the light and said,

"Well, I would be hypocrite to suddenly ask You to treat me as a Christian now, but could you, maybe, make the BEAR a Christian?"

"Very Well," said the voice. The light went out.

The sounds of the forest resumed.

The bear lowered his right paw and brought both paws together.

He bowed his head, and said:

"Lord, bless this food which I am about to receive from Your bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen."

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