Funny Clean Irish Jokes

The entire family were at Shannon Airport to see Patrick, Colleen & the children off to Australia.

Patrick thought it a good idea to get a photo of the occasion as a keepsake.

They asked a fellow traveller to take the picture with Patrick’s old camera.

The family stood still for what seemed like a lifetime.

They were getting a bit fidgety: Colleen says “What’s taking so long Patrick?”

Patrick says, “Well love, he’s got to focus first.”
Colleen asks, “What, all of us?”

Funny Clean Irish Jokes -- Irish Golf Jokes

A young Irish man who was an avid golfer found himself with a few hours to spare one afternoon.

He figured if he hurried and played very fast, he could get in nine holes before he had to head home.

Just as he was about to tee off an old gentleman shuffled onto the tee and asked if he could accompany the young man as he was golfing alone.

Not being able to say no, he allowed the old gent to join him.

To his surprise the old man played fairly quickly.

He didn't hit the ball far, but plodded along consistently and didn't waste much time.

Finally, they reached the 9th fairway and the young man found himself with a tough shot.

There was a large pine tree right in front of his ball - and directly between his ball and the green.

After several minutes of debating how to hit the shot the old man finally said, "You know, when I was your age I'd hit the ball right over that tree."

With that challenge placed before him, the youngster swung hard, hit the ball up, right smack into the top of the tree trunk and it thudded back on the ground not a foot from where it had originally lay.

The old man offered one more comment, "Of course, when I was your age that pine tree was only three feet tall."

Clean Irish Jokes -- Funniest Irish Jokes

Grainne Haloran  takes a lover during the day while her husband is at work.

Her 9 year old son comes home unexpectedly, so she puts him in the press and shuts the door.

Her husband also comes home, so she puts her lover in the press  with her son.

The little boy says, 'Dark in here' The man says,

'Yes it is.'Her son says - 'I have a skateboard

Man - 'That's nice.'

Son - 'Want to buy it?'

Man - 'No thanks."

Son - 'My Dad's outside.'

Man - 'How much?'

Son - '$500.00.'

In the next few weeks it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the press together

Son - 'Dark in here.'

Man - 'Yes, it is.'

Son  - 'I have a helmet.'

The lover remembering the last time, asks the boy, 'How much?'

Son - '$200.00.'

Man - 'Fine.'

A few days later the father says to the boy, 'Get your skateboard and helmet and show me how you can ride..

His son says, 'I can't, I sold them.'

The father asks, 'How much did you sell them for?'

Son - '$700.00.'

The father says, 'That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that, that is way more than those two things cost.

I'm going to take you to church and make you confess.'

They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.

The boy says, 'Dark in here.' The priest says, 'Don't start that shit again.'

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