CLEAN IRISH JOKES
One afternoon, Pat met Mick, whom he hadn't seen for quiet some time.
After chatting for a while, Pat asked Mick what he was doing with himself at the moment.
Mick told Pat that he was Studying at University College in Dublin.
"Jazuz." said Pat... "And what are you Studying?"
"Logic" replied Mick.
"What's Logic?" said Pat.
"Well!" said Mick...."Do You Have a GoldFish?" Pat: "I do!"
Mick: "So ..you probably have the Fish for your Kids!" Pat: "That's Right!"
Mick: "So.. Having Kids means your probably married...!" Pat: "That's Right!"
Mick: "So Being Married means you're not a Homosexual!" Pat: "That's Right!"
Mick Explains that it was Logic that allowed him to figure all that out. The Boys say Goodbye and head off in different directions.
An hour later, Pat meets his mate Shamey.
After a while Shamey asked Pat had he seen Mick around.
Pat explains that he met Mick only an hour ago.
Shamey said: "And what's old Mick doing with Himself?".
Pat replies "He's studying at the University".
Shamey: "And What's He Studying?".
Pat: "Logic!"
Shamey: "And What's Logic?"
Pat: "Let me Explain.. Do you have a Gold Fish?"
Shamey: "I Do!"
Pat: "So you're not a Homosexual then!!!!"
Funny Clean Irish Jokes; Irish Golf Jokes
A young Irish man who was an avid golfer found himself with a few hours to spare one afternoon.
He figured if he hurried and played very fast, he could get in nine holes before he had to head home.
Just as he was about to tee off an old gentleman shuffled onto the tee and asked if he could accompany the young man as he was golfing alone.
Not being able to say no, he allowed the old gent to join him.
To his surprise the old man played fairly quickly.
He didn't hit the ball far, but plodded along consistently and didn't waste much time.
Finally, they reached the 9th fairway and the young man found himself with a tough shot.
There was a large pine tree right in front of his ball - and directly between his ball and the green.
After several minutes of debating how to hit the shot the old man finally said, "You know, when I was your age I'd hit the ball right over that tree."
With that challenge placed before him, the youngster swung hard, hit the ball up, right smack into the top of the tree trunk and it thudded back on the ground not a foot from where it had originally lay.
The old man offered one more comment, "Of course, when I was your age that pine tree was only three feet tall."
Clean Irish Jokes -- Funniest Irish Jokes
Grainne Haloran takes a lover during the day while her husband is at work.
Her 9 year old son comes home unexpectedly, so she puts him in the press and shuts the door.
Her husband also comes home, so she puts her lover in the press with her son.
The little boy says, 'Dark in here' The man says,
'Yes it is.'Her son says - 'I have a skateboard
Man - 'That's nice.'
Son - 'Want to buy it?'
Man - 'No thanks."
Son - 'My Dad's outside.'
Man - 'How much?'
Son - '$500.00.'
In the next few weeks it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the press together
Son - 'Dark in here.'
Man - 'Yes, it is.'
Son - 'I have a helmet.'
The lover remembering the last time, asks the boy, 'How much?'
Son - '$200.00.'
Man - 'Fine.'
A few days later the father says to the boy, 'Get your skateboard and helmet and show me how you can ride..
His son says, 'I can't, I sold them.'
The father asks, 'How much did you sell them for?'
Son - '$700.00.'
The father says, 'That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that, that is way more than those two things cost.
I'm going to take you to church and make you confess.'
They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.
The boy says, 'Dark in here.' The priest says, 'Don't start that shit again.'
Clean Irish Jokes -- Funny Clean Irish Jokes -- Clean Jokes Irish
The entire family were at Shannon Airport to see Patrick, Colleen & the children off to Australia.
Patrick thought it a good idea to get a photo of the occasion as a keepsake.
They asked a fellow traveller to take the picture with Patrick’s old camera.
The family stood still for what seemed like a lifetime.
They were getting a bit fidgety: Colleen says “What’s taking so long Patrick?”
Patrick says, “Well love, he’s got to focus first.”
Colleen asks, “What, all of us?”
Back from Clean Irish Jokes to Funny
Irish Jokes
