Funny Clean Italian Jokes

Alexandra was walking along a Boulevard, involved in a prayer.

He asked God for one wish. Suddenly, the sky clouded above his head and in a booming voice, God said,

"Because you have had the faith to ask, I will grant you one wish."

The man said, "Build a bridge to Italy, so I can drive over anytime I want to."

God was in awkward situation...

God said, "Your request is very materialistic.

Think of the logistics of that kind of undertaking.

All the technology needed to reach the bottom of the ocean!

The concrete and steel it would take!

I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things.
Think for sometime and ask another wish."

Alexandra thought for a while and then said, "God, I have been married and divorced three times.

All of my wives said that I am uncaring and insensitive.

Here is my wish: I would like to know how to make an Italian woman happy."

The God went in heavy thought mode, and said, "OK, son, you want two lanes or four on that bridge?"

Funny Clean Italian Jokes -- Funny Italian Joke

Three friends, an architect, an artist and an Italian engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with your wife or a mistress.

The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship.

The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the passion and mystery he found there.

The Italian engineer said, "I like both."

"Both?" But, how? Asked other two.

Engineer: "If you have a wife and a mistress, both of them assume you are spending time with the other woman.

So you can go to the lab and get some work done."

Funny Clean Italian Jokes -- Italian Family Jokes

You know you're Italian when

Your grandfather had a fig tree

Plastic on the furniture is normal

Your mom's meatballs are the best

You eat Sunday dinner at 2pm.

There are more than 28 people in your wedding party

You are on a first name basis with at least 8 banquet hall owners

You've been hit with a wooden spoon or had a shoe thrown at you

Funny Italian Joke -- Clean Italian Jokes

Five Englishmen in an Audi Quattro arrive at the Italian border. 

The Italian customer agent stops them and tells them:

"Itsa illegal to putta fiva people ina Quattro." 

"What do you mean it's illegal?" asked the Englishmen.

"Quattro means four," replies the Italian official. 

"Quattro is just the name of the automobile,"

the Englishman says, not believing what he is hearing. 

"Look at the papers: this car is designed to carry 5 persons."

"You can'ta pulla thata one ona me," replies the Italian customs agent.

"Quattro means four. You hava fiva people ina your car and you are therefore breakin'a the law". 

The Englishman replies angrily, "You idiot! Call your supervisor over We want to speak to someone with more intelligence!"

"Sorry," responds the Italian official, "he can'ta come".

"He's a busy with two guys in a Uno".

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