CLEAN POLITICAL JOKES
Australian Best Political Joke -- Intelligence
John Howard was on one of his trips to England, and decided to drop in and visit the Queen.
He asks her for advice on how to succesfully rule an entire country.
She says, "I like to surround myself with intelligent people".
Howard says, "Well, how do ya know whether your people are intelligent or not?"
She replies, "Look here".
She picks up her phone, dials a number, and says, "Mister Tony Blaire".
"Yes, your Majesty".
"If my parents have a child which is neither my brother nor my sister, who is it?".
"Why? If my parents have a child who's not my brother or my sister, it's me, of course".
"See?", the Queen says to Howard.
Johnny returns to Australia and decides to find out if his people are intelligent.
He calls up Peter Costello and says, "Hey Pete, if my parents have a kid, and it's not my brother or my sister, who is it?"
Costello replies, "Hmmm, I don't know. Let me ask Downer".
So Costello calls up Alexander Downer and says, "Mate, can i ask you a question?"
"Ask away", Downer says.
"If my parents have a child, which is not my brother or my sister, who is it?"
"Ummm, ya dumb ass, if my parents have a child who's not my brother or my sister, it's me".
A few days later, Peter Costello calls up Howard and says, "Well after a lot of thought, I think I've figured it out.
If
my parents have a kid,
and it's not my brother or my sister,
it's
Alexander Downer.
Howard replies "No, ya dumb ass, it's Tony Blaire!"
Funny Clean Political Jokes -- Bush Political Joke
A guy walks into a coffee shop and sees President Bush and Colin Powell sitting together.
He introduces himself and asks President Bush, "How goes the War effort, Sir?"
President Bush answers, "We're getting ready to kill 40 million Iraqis and one blonde."
The guy asks in astonishment,"Why are you killing one blonde?"
President Bush turns to Colin Powell and says, "See, I told you people wouldn't care about the Iraqis."
Funny Clean Political Jokes -- Washington Clean Political Jokes
A little boy wanted $100 to buy a new bike, and his mother told him to pray to God for it.
He prayed and prayed for two weeks, but nothing turned up.
Then he decided perhaps he should write God a letter requesting the $100.00.
When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to God, they opened it up and decided to send it to the President.
The President was so impressed, touched and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a check for $5.00.
He thought that this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy.
The little boy was delighted with the $5.00 and sat down to write a thank-you letter to God, which read:
Dear God, Thank you very much for the money.
I noticed that you had to send it through Washington.
As
usual, they deducted $95.00 for themselves.
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