COMEDY CHRISTMAS CAROLS

My Christmas Emails

I have a list of folks I know

all written my computer data base.

And every year at Christmas time,

I go and take a look at my data base.

And that is when I realize

that these names are a part....

Not in the data base they are written in

but of my very heart.

For I am but a total

of the many folks I've met,

And you happen to be one of those

I prefer not to forget.

And whether I have known you

for many years or a few hours

In some way you have had a part

of shaping things I do.

(To the Tune “God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen”)

The restroom door said Gentlemen

So I just walked inside

I took two steps and realized

I'd been taken for a ride

I heard high voices turned and found

The place was occupied

By two nuns, three old ladies, and a nurse

What could be worse?

Than two nuns, three old ladies and a nurse.

The restroom door said Gentlemen

It must have been a gag

As soon as I walked in there I ran into some old hag

She sprayed me with a can of mace

And snapped me with her bag.

I could tell this just wouldn't be my day

What can I say?

It just wasn't turning out to be my day.

The restroom door said Gentlemen

And I would like to find

The crummy little creep who had the nerve to switch the sign

Cause I've got two black eyes

And one high heel up my behind

Now I can't sit with comfort and joy

Boy, oh, boy

No, I'll never sit with comfort and joy.

-- Comedy Christmas Carols --