Controlling Mother in Law Jokes

Two women came to wise King Solomon, dragging between them a young man.

"This young man agreed to marry my daughter," said one.

"No! He agreed to marry MY daughter," said the other.

And so they haggled in front of the King, until he called for silence.

"Bring me my biggest sword," said Solomon,

"and I shall hew the young man in half.

Each of you shall receive a half."

"Sounds good to me," said the first lady.

But the other woman said,

"Oh Sir, do not spill innocent blood.

Let the other woman's daughter marry him."

The wise king did not hesitate a moment.

"This man must marry the first lady's daughter," he proclaimed.

"But she was willing to hew him in two!" exclaimed the king's court.

"Indeed," said wise King Solomon.

"That shows she is the TRUE mother-in-law!"

-- Controlling Mother in Law Jokes and Other MIL Jokes --

A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman's face was severely burned.

The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin from her body because she was too skinny.

So, the husband offered to donate some of his own skin.

However, the only skin on his body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from his buttocks.

The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and requested that the doctor also honor their secret.

After all, this was a very delicate matter.

After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the woman's new beauty.

She looked more beautiful than she ever had before!

All her friends and relatives just went on and on about her youthful beauty!

One day, she was alone with her husband, and she was overcome with emotion at his sacrifice.

She said,

"Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me.

There is no way I could ever repay you."

"My darling," he replied,

"I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek."

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