Funny Farm Animal Jokes

A jogger is running down a country road as a horse yells at him from the paddock:

"Hey mate, come over here!"

The jogger is surprised but runs over to the horse and asks, "Were you talking to me?"

The horse replies, "I was, mate I've got a problem.

I won the Kentucky Derby a few years ago and this farmer bought me and now all I do is pull a plow, I'm really sick of it.

Why don't you run up to the house and offer him $5,000 to buy me.

I'll make you some money, I can still run."

The jogger thought to himself, "a talking horse!"

Dollar signs started appearing in his head.

So he runs to the house and the old farmer is sitting on the porch.

The jogger says to the farmer, "Hey, I'll give you $5,000 for that old broken down horse you've got in the paddock".

The farmer replies, "Son you can't believe anything that horse says.

He's never been to Kentucky."

Farm Animal Jokes -- Crazy Farm Animal Jokes -- The Mama Cow

One day, a mama cow and her three baby cows were out grazing in the field.

The first baby cow comes up to the mama cow and says, "Mama, why is my name Daisy?"

The mama cow says, "Well sweetie, when you were born, a daisy fell on your head."

And the first baby cow walked off, satisfied.

The next day, they were all out in the field again.

The second baby cow came up to the mama and said, "Mama, why is my name Tulip?"

"Well, honey, when you were born a tulip fell on your head."

The baby cow was happy with that answer and continued grazing.

The following morning, they all went out into the field again to graze.

The third baby cow came up to the mama cow and said,


And the mama cow said,


Farm Animal Jokes -- Funny Animal Joke -- Goat Jokes

Three guys were walking in the forest and came across a big hole in the path.

To find out how deep the hole was, they threw some rocks in it, but didn't hear them hit the bottom.

One guy says "I saw a log back there lets get that and throw it in."

So they do it.

A moment later, an old farmer comes walking up the path and says

"Have you seen my goat here?"

The third guy replies "I saw one jump down in that hole."

The farmer replies "That couldn't have been my goat. He was tied to a log."

Farm Animal Jokes -- Funny Farm Animal Jokes -- Three Bulls

Three bulls, one large, one medium, and one small, were standing in the pasture and had just heard that the farmer had just bought a new, larger bull.

The largest of the three said, "Well, he ain't getting ant of my cows."

The medium bull said, "He ain't getting none of my cows either."

The little bull said, "Well, if he ain't getting any of yours, then he ain't getting any of mine either."

Two days later, a semi pulls into the yard, and they unload the new bull.

He's big and pissed off from having been cooped up for the long journey.

When the three bulls see him, the biggest bull says, "He can have my cows."

The medium bull says, "He can have my cows too."

The smallest bull starts pawing the ground, snorting and bellowing.

"What's wrong with you?" the other two ask. "I'm just showing him I ain't a cow!"

Farm Animal Jokes -- Humorous Animal Jokes -- Rooster Jokes

A farmer goes out one day and buys a brand new stud rooster.

He puts the rooster in the pen so he can get down to chicken-business.

The young rooster walks over to the old rooster and says, "OK, old fellow, time to retire."

The old rooster says, "You can't handle all these chickens, look at what it did to me!"

The young rooster replies, "Don't give me a hassle about this.

Time for the old to step aside and the young to take over, so take a hike."

The old rooster says, "Come on, just let me have the two old hens over in the corner. I won't bother you,"

The young rooster says, "Rubbish! I'm taking over!"

The old rooster thinks for a minute and then says to the young rooster, "I'll tell you what, young fellow, I'll have a race with you around the farm.

Whoever wins the race gets the chickens.

And if I'm so old and weak, why not give me a little head start?

The young rooster says, "Why not, I will still beat you".

They line up in back of the farmhouse and the old rooster takes off running.

About 15 seconds later the young rooster takes off after him.

They round the front of the farmhouse and the young rooster is only about 5 inches behind the old rooster and gaining fast.

The farmer, sitting on the porch, looks up, sees what's going on, grabs his gun and shots the young rooster.

He shakes his head and says, "Son of a bitch.. third gay rooster I bought this week!"

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