FUNNY BIRD JOKES
Mrs Smith had a very clever parrot and when her friend Ms Turberville came to refreshments she could not resist showing him off.
"If you pull this string on his right leg, he'll sing the national anthem.
And if you pull the string on his left leg, he'll sing Rule Britannia."
"That's amazing," said Ms Turberville.
"But what will happen if I pull both string at once?"
"I'll fall off my perch, you silly ole twitt," exclaimed the parrot.
Parrot Jokes
A drunk is driving with his parrot through the city and his car is weaving violently all over the road.
A cop pulls him over. "So," says the cop to the driver, "where have you been?"
"I've been to the pub," slurs the parrot and the drunk smiles.
"Well," says the cop, "it looks like you've had quite a few."
"He did all right," the parrot says and the drunk smiles.
"Did you know," says the cop, standing straight and folding his arms, "that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?"
"Oh, thank heavens," sighs the parrot. "For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf."
Funny Bird Jokes
A monster decided to become a TV star, so he wnet to see a talent scout.
What do you do? - asked the scout.
Bird impressions, - said the monster.
What kind of impressions?
I eat worms.
Short Funny Bird Jokes
Billy Bob: My canary died of flu.
Betty: I had no idea they got flu.
Billy Bob: Mine flew into a car.
When is the best time to buy budgies?
When they're going cheap!
What do pelicans, eagles and Hillary Clinton have in common?
They all got ugly Bills.
What did the gamekeeper say to the lord of the manor?
The pheasants are revolting'!
Why don't eggs tell jokes?
They'd crack each other up!
Why did the parrot wear a raincoat?
Because she wanted to be a Polly unsaturated!
Why are there so many pigeons in railway stations?
Because they like to do a lot of train-spotting.
What is the definition of Robin?
A bird who steals!
Why did the sparrow fly into the library?
He was looking for bookworms.
What is a parrot's favorite game?
Hide and Speak!
What do you give a sick bird?
Tweetment.
Who wrote "Great Eggspectations"?
Charles Chickens.
What did the hen say when she laid a square egg?
Ouch!
Which bird never runs but is always out of breath?
A puffin.
Short Funny Bird Jokes
What did the duck say when she finished shopping?
Just put it on my bill.
What do you get if you cross a duck with a firework?
A firequaker!
What do you get if you cross a centipede and a parrot?
A walkie-talkie.
Why was Batman looking for worms?
Because Robin was hungry.
What flies through the jungle singing opera?
The parrots of Penzance!
Why should not schools be built near chicken farms?
To avoid the pupils overhearing fowl language.
What is a polygon?
A dead parrot!
What do you get if you cross a parrot with a shark?
An animal that talks your head.
Why did the owl owl?
So the woodpecker would peck 'er.
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Animals Jokes
