FUNNY CHRISTMAS CAROLS 

Listing by Chitika

I'm getting' nuttin' for Christmas

I broke my bat on Johnny's head,

Somebody snitched on me.

I hid a frog in sister's bed,

Somebody snitched on me...

I spilled some ink on Mommy's rug,

I made Tommy eat a bug.

Bought some gum with a penny slug,

Somebody snitched on me.

Oh, I'm gettin' nuttin' for Christmas

Mommy and Daddy are mad.

I'm gettin' nuttin' for Christmas

'Cause I ain't been nuttin' but bad.

So you better be good whatever you do,

'Cause if you're bad, I'm warning you,

You'll get nuttin' for Christmas!

I put a tack on teacher's chair,

Somebody snitched on me.

I tied a knot in Susie's hair,

Somebody snitched on me.

I did a dance on Mommy's plants,

Climbed a tree and tore my pants,

Filled the sugar bowl with ants,

Somebody snitched on me.

-- Funny Christmas Carols --

Mommy and Daddy are mad.

I'm gettin' nuttin' for Christmas

'Cause I ain't been nuttin' but bad.

So you better be good whatever you do,

'Cause if you're bad, I'm warning you,

You'll get nuttin' for Christmas!

I won't be seeing Santa Claus,

Somebody snitched on me.

He won't come visit me because

Somebody snitched on me.

Next year I'll be going straight,

Next year I'll be good, just wait

I'd start now, but it's too late,

Somebody snitched on me.

Chorus

Oh, I'm gettin' nuttin' for Christmas

Mommy and Daddy are mad.

I'm gettin' nuttin' for Christmas

'Cause I ain't been nuttin' but bad.

So you better be good whatever you do,

'Cause if you're bad, I'm warning you,

You'll get nuttin' for Christmas!

-- Funny Christmas Carols -- 

Walking home from our house Christmas eve.

You can say there's no such thing as Santa,

But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.

She'd been drinkin' too much egg nog,

And we'd begged her not to go.

But she'd left her medication,

So she stumbled out the door into the snow.

When they found her Christmas mornin',

At the scene of the attack.

There were hoof prints on her forehead,

And incriminatin' Claus marks on her back.

Grandma got run over by a reindeer,

Walkin' home from our house Christmas eve.

You can say there's no such thing as Santa,

But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.

-- Funny Christmas Carols --

He's been takin' this so well.

See him in there watchin' football,

Drinkin' beer and playin' cards with cousin Belle.

It's not Christmas without Grandma.

All the family's dressed in black.

And we just can't help but wonder:

Should we open up her gifts or send them back?

Grandma got run over by a reindeer,

Walkin' home from our house Christmas eve.

You can say there's no such thing as Santa,

But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.

Now the goose is on the table

And the pudding made of fig.

And a blue and silver candle,

That would just have matched the hair in Grandma'swig.

I've warned all my friends and neighbours.

Better watch out for yourselves."

They should never give a license,

To a man who drives a sleigh and plays with elves.

Grandma got run over by a reindeer,

Walkin' home from our house, Christmas eve.

You can say there's no such thing as Santa,

But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.

Written by Randy Brooks.

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