FUNNY COMPUTER JOKE
Yeltsin, Clinton and Bill Gates were invited to have dinner with God.
During dinner he told them:
I need three important people to send my message out to all the people:
"Tomorrow I will destroy the Earth."
Yeltsin immediately called together his cabinet and told them:
"I have two really bad news items for you:
The first is that God really does exist and
the second is that tomorrow He will destroy the Earth."
Clinton called an emergency meeting of the Senate and Congress and told them:
"I have good news and bad news.
The good news is that God really does exist and
the bad news is that tomorrow He is going to destroy the Earth."
Bill Gates went back to Microsoft and very happily announced:
"I have two fantastic announcements:
1) I am one of the three most important people on Earth.
2) The Year 2000 problem is solved."
-- Funny Computer Joke -- Funny Computer Joke -- Amusing Computer Jokes --
12-Step Recovery Program for Web Addicts
1. I will have a cup of coffee in the morning and read my newspaper like I used to, before the Web.
2. I will eat breakfast with a knife and fork and not with one hand typing.
3. I will get dressed before noon.
4. I will make an attempt to clean the house, wash clothes, and plan dinner before even thinking of the Web.
5. I will sit down and write a letter to those unfortunate few friends and family that havent got an email account ot IM.
6. I will call someone on the phone who I cannot contact via the Web.
7. I will read a book... if I still remember how.
8. I will listen to those around me and their needs and stop telling them to turn the TV down so I can hear the music on the Web.
9. I will not be tempted during TV commercials to check my emails.
10. I will remember that my bank is not forgiving if I forget to balance my checkbook because I was too busy on the Web.
11. I will try and get out of the house at least once a week, whether it is necessary or not.
-- Funny Computer Joke -- Funny Computer Joke --
Internet Drinking Game
With the recent rise of "Geek culture," the long-held misperception that computer users are solitary, electronic slaves is slowly receding like a ten percent drop shadow.
Geeks have asserted for years that they can party as hard as any testosterone-filled football player.
To prove it, we present the tidbits Web Surfing Party Game (TBWSPG, pronounced "Fred").
Fred is best experienced in a group setting (say, a rack of office cubicles at lunch time), but you can also play at home alone or networked, of course.
To play, choose your favorite drink, connect to your ISP, and start surfing the Web.
Remember to be responsible, and hand over the mouse when you've drunk too much.
DRINK ONCE IF ...
Your modem has to redial when connecting to your IS (if more than five times, stop drinking and cancel that darn AOL account already!)
You see a "Best Viewed With..." tag (twice if it's animated)
You get any error message (bad URL, etc.)
You see an under construction sign
You view a page with a Web counter (twice if it's a broken graphic)
You view a blink tag (not necessary to drink for every blink)
You come across a Java applet (twice if it doesn't load)
You see the phrase "cool links"
A background sound loads (you also must dance with drink in hand)
Your browser crashes
You have to resize the browser window
A graphic doesn't load
DRINK TWICE IF ...
You hit a JavaScript error
You arrive at a password-protected site (if you can guess the password in three tries, collect a dollar from everyone in the room and chug drink)
You find a home page purportedly belonging to someone's pet
"Cool" is spelled "kewl"
You have to download a plug-in and restart your browser
The graphics are broken on a Web designer's home page
SPECIAL ...
If you hit a Shockwave project, you have to wait to drink until it's downloaded (This is a good chance to walk to the store for more drinks, render 3D images, or write a new operating system.)
-- Short Funny Computer Joke --
Better
to be a geek than an idiot!
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