Funny Computer Quotes

"Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons." Popular Mechanics, 1949

"640K ought to be enough for anybody." - Bill Gates, 1981

"I don't have a bank account because I don't know my mother's maiden name" - Paula Poundstone

"The most overlooked advantage to owning a computer is that if they foul up, there's no law against whacking them around a little." - Eric Porterfield

"It's a little-known fact that the Y1K problem caused the Dark Ages."

"The great thing about Object Oriented code is that it can make small, simple problems look like large, complex ones."

"If at first you don't succeed; call it version 1.0"

"Mac users swear by their Mac, PC users swear at their PC."

"Hardware: the parts of a computer that can be kicked." - Jeff Pesis

"A Windows user spends 1/3 of his life sleeping, 1/3 working, 1/3 waiting."

-- Funny Computer Quotes --

"One of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs." - Robert Firth

"A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila." Mitch Ratcliffe

"Computers are like Old Testament gods; lots of rules and no mercy." Joseph Campbell

"There are 10 kinds of people in the world, those that understand trinary, those that don't, and those that confuse it with binary."

"Microsoft is not the answer. Microsoft is the question. NO is the answer." - Erik Naggum

"But they are useless. They can only give you answers." - Pablo Picasso

"Real men don't use backups, they post their stuff on a public ftp server and let the rest of the world make copies."  - Linus Torvalds

"Windows95: It's like upgrading from Reagan to Bush.

"To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer." Farmer's Almanac, 1978

-- Funny Computer Quotes --

"Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog." - Doug Larson

"I had a fortune cookie the other day and it said:

'Outlook not so good'.

I said: 'Sure, but Microsoft ships it anyway'."

"The term reboot comes from the middle age (before computers).

Horses who stopped in mid-stride required a boot to the rear to start again.

Thus the term to rear-boot, later abbreviated into reboot."

"The more I C, the less I see."

"Computer are like air conditioners: they stop working when you open windows."

"COBOL programmers understand why women hate periods."

-- Funny Computer Quotes --


"It is easier to change the specification to fit the program than vice versa."

"I'm not anti-social; I'm just not user friendly"

"Be nice to geeks when you're in school, you might end up working for one when you grow up."

"My software never has bugs. It just develops random features." - average programmer.

"There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don't."

-- Funny Computer Quotes --

"People say Microsoft paid 14M$ for using the Rolling Stones song 'Start me up' in their commercials.

This is wrong.

Microsoft payed 14M$ only for a part of the song.

For instance, they didn't use the line 'You'll make a grown man cry'."

"The best accelerator available for a Mac is one that causes it to go at 9.81 m/s2."

"Like car accidents, most hardware problems are due to driver error."

"The box said 'Required Windows 95 or better'. So, I installed LINUX."

"1f u c4n r34d th1s u r34lly n33d t0 g37 l41d"

"Testing. Testing. 001 010 011 100..."

-- Funny Computer Quotes --

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CIA Data Center Joke Not rated yet
If the criteria was whether it demanded a cash bribe, what data *wouldn't* be considered corrupted?

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