"I feel sorry for people who don't drink.
When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to
feel all day. "
~Frank Sinatra
"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is
beer.
Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel
does not go nearly as well with pizza."
"Sometimes
when I reflect
back on all the wine I drink I feel shame.
Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the
vineyards and all of their hopes and dreams.
If I didn't drink this wine, they might be out of work and their dreams
would be shattered.
Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink
this wine
and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry
about my
liver."
~ Jack Handy
~ Dave Barry
"When we drink, we get drunk.
When we get drunk, we fall asleep.
When we fall asleep, we commit no sin.
When we commit no sin, we go to heaven.
So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!"
~ Brian O'Rourke
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
~ Benjamin Franklin
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
~ Henny Youngman
To some ! it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group.
Salvation
in a can!
~ Dave Howell
A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo.
And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the
back that are killed first
This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the
general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the
regular killing of the weakest members.
In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as
fast as the slowest brain cells.
Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells.
But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first.
In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain
cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.
That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers.
~ Cliff Clavin
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