FUNNY DRINKING QUOTES
fUNNY dRINKING qUOTES
"Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drink I feel shame.
Then I look into the glass and think about the
workers in the vineyards and all of their hopes and dreams.
If I didn't drink this wine, they might be out of work and
their dreams would be shattered.
Then I say to myself, "It is better that I
drink this wine and let their dreams come true than be
selfish and worry about my liver."
~ Jack Handy
"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case.
Coincidence? I think not."
~ Stephen Wright
"I feel sorry for people who don't drink.
When they wake up in the
morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. "
~Frank Sinatra
"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of
mankind is beer.
Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but
the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza."
~ Dave Barry
"When we drink, we get drunk.
When we get drunk, we fall asleep.
When we fall asleep, we commit no sin.
When we commit no sin, we go to heaven.
So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!"
~ Brian O'Rourke
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
~ Benjamin Franklin
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
~ Henny Youngman
To some ! it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group.
Salvation in a can!
~ Dave Howell
A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest
buffalo.
And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest
ones at the back that are killed first
This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole,
because the general speed and health of
the whole group keeps improving by the
regular killing of the weakest members.
In much the same way, the human brain can only
operate as fast as the slowest brain cells.
Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells.
But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells
first.
In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.
That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers.
~ Cliff Clavin
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Funny Quick Jokes about Drinking
