FUNNY IRISH JOKES
An American walks into an Irish pub and says, "I'll give anyone $100 if they can drink 10 Guinness's in 10 minutes."
Most people just ignore the absurd bet and go back to their conversations.
One guy even leaves the bar...
A little while later that guy comes back and asks the American, "Is
that bet still on?"
"Sure." So the bartender lines 10 Guinness's up on the bar the Irishman
drinks them all in less than 10 minutes.
As the American hands over the money he asks, "Where did you go when
you just left?"
The Irishman answers, "I went next door to the other pub to see if I
could do it."
Funny
Irish Jokes -- Good
Funny Irish Jokes -- Drunk Irish Jokes
Casey McCarthy had just arrived in New York City and was amazed at the
enormity of everything.
Having drunk a pint or two on the flight over, he sorely needed to
relieve himself.
The first door he entered happened to be a large health club, and he
asked the clerk if he might use the men's room.
The clerk said certainly and told Casey the men's room was the third
door down the corridor on the left.
Now Casey, trying to appear sober, weaved his way down the hallway
remembering some of the directions.
When he reached the third door, he turned RIGHT, opened the door and
immediately fell into the deep end of a pool.
The clerk, realizing Casey's mistake, ran down the hall and burst
through the door, prepared to save him, and heard Casey shout, "Don't
flush, I'm in here!"
Funny Irish
Jokes -- Funniest
Irish Joke about Fishing
The warden catches Seamus leaving the vicinity of the reservoir with a
bucket of fish.
"Aha! I've caught you poachin' fish red-handed," says the
warden.
"What do you mean, red-handed?" says Seamus.
"You've got a bucket full of 'em right there. You can't talk
your
way out of it this time."
"Oh, you don't understand," says Seamus, "I've not poached a
thing. These are me pet fish.
I bring 'em to the reservoir once a week for exercise.
After they've had a good swim, they come back to the bucket and we go
back home."
"Do ya expect me to believe such a tale?"
"I can prove it." say Seamus.
So they walk back to the reservoir and Seamus dips the bucket in and
the fish swim away.
They stand in silence for 20, 30, 40 minutes...no sign of the fish
coming back to the pail.
Ha, ya lying rogue! shouts the warden.
"Where are your fish?"
"What fish?"
Funny Irish Jokes -- Short Funny Irish Jokes -- Short Jokes Irish
Racehorse doping is not unknown in Ireland.
One day, the Clerk of the Course spotted a trainer giving something to
a horse just before the start of a race.
He went over and said, "Doping?"
The trainer said, "Indeed not, Sor.
'Tis just lump sugar. Look, I'll take a bit meself.. see?"
The Clerk of the Course said,
"Sorry, but we have to be careful. As a matter of fact, I like a bit of
sugar meself."
So the trainer gave him a piece.
When the Clerk of the Course disappeared, the trainer gave his jockey
his last minute instructions,
"Don't forget the drill.
Hold him in 'til the last four furlongs.
Don't worry if anything passes ye, it'll be me or the Clerk of the
Course!"
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You may also want to read: Funny
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