Funny Math Jokes

A mathematician and his best friend, an engineer, attend a public lecture on geometry in thirteen-dimensional space.

"How did you like it?" the mathematician wants to know after the talk.

"My head's spinning", the engineer confesses.

"How can you develop any intuition for thirteen-dimensional space?"

"Well, it's not even difficult.

All I do is visualize the situation in arbitrary N-dimensional space and then set N = 13."

Statistics Canada is hiring mathematicians.

Three recent graduates are invited for an interview: one has a degree in pure mathematics, another one in applied math, and the third one obtained his B.Sc. in statistics.

All three are asked the same question: "What is one third plus two thirds?"

The pure mathematician: "It's one."

The applied mathematician takes out his pocket calculator, punches in the numbers, and replies: "It's 0.999999999."

The statistician: "What do you want it to be?"

-- Funny Math Jokes --

New York (CNN).

At John F. Kennedy International Airport today, a Caucasian male (later discovered to be a high school mathematics teacher) was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a compass, a protractor and a graphical calculator.

According to law enforcement officials, he is believed to have ties to the Al-Gebra network.

He will be charged with carrying weapons of math instruction.

-- Funny Math Jokes --

Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question.

“Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?”

“None,” replied Johnny. ”Because the rest would fly away.”

“Well, the answer is four,” said the teacher. “But I like the way you are thinking.”

-- Funny Math Jokes --

Little Johnny said, “I have a question for you now.

If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one licking her cone, the second biting her cone, and the third one sucking her cone, which one is married?

“Well,” said the teacher nervously, “I guess the one sucking the cone?”

“No,” said Little Johnny, “the one with the wedding ring on her finger.

But I like the way you’re thinking!”

-- Funny Math Jokes --

Little Johnny returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.

"Why?" asks the father.

"The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3?' I said '6'"

"But that's right!"

"Then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?'"

"What's the f&%#ing difference?" asks the father.

"That's what I said!

-- Good Old Little Johnny --

The arithmetic teacher had written 10.9 on the blackboard and had then rubbed out the decimal point to show the effect of multiplying this number by ten.

"Johnny," the teacher asked, "where is the decimal point now?"

"On the eraser!" came back the quick reply.

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