FUNNY MEDICAL JOKES
Doctor and Cannibal Joke
'Doc,' said the cannibal to the witch doctor, 'I have terrible heartburn.'
'What have you been eating?' said the witch doctor.
'A lot of missionaries with hooded robes and bald heads,' said the
cannibal.
'How do you cook them?' inquired the witch doctor.
'I boil them in a big iron pot,' said the head hunter.
'You idiot!' screamed the witch doctor. Those aren't boilers - they're
friars!'
Funny Medical Jokes -- Medical Doctor Jokes
Doctor: I have some bad news and some very bad news.
Patient: Well, might as well give me the bad news first.
Doctor: The lab called with your test results. They said you have 24
hours to live.
Patient: 24 HOURS! That's terrible! WHAT could be WORSE? What's the
very bad news?
Doctor: I've been trying to reach you since yesterday.
Funny
Medical Jokes --
Medical Jokes Doctor Jokes
There are several different kinds of doctors, and it is told that they
can be differentiated by the following method:
General Practitioners know nothing and do little.
Surgeons know little and do everything.
Internists know everything and do nothing.
Pathologists know everything and can do everything, but it 's usually
too late.
Funny Medical Jokes -- Doctor and Nurse Jokes
Nurse: Doctor, the man you've just treated collapsed on the front step
what should I do?
Doctor: Turn him around so it looks like he was just arriving!
Funny Medical
Jokes -- Amusing
Doctor Jokes -- The Psychiatric Hotline Click below to see contributions from other visitors to this page...
a rocket , Not rated yet
Hello, Welcome To "The Psychiatric Hotline".
If you are Obsessive-Compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are Co-Dependent, please ask someone else to press 2.
If you have Multiple Personalities, press 3,4,5, and 6.
If you are Paranoid-Delusional, we know who you are and what you want.
Just stay on the line while we trace your call.
If you are Schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell
you which number to press.
If you are Manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press,
no one will answer.
Funny Medical Jokes -- Doctor Referral Jokes
The doctor took Dan into the room and said, "Dan, I have some good news
and some bad news."
"Oh, no. Give me the good news, I guess, " Dan replied.
"They 're going to name a disease after you."
Patient: I always see spots before my eyes.
Doctor: Didn't the new glasses help?
Patient: Sure, now I see the spots much clearer.
"Doctor, are you sure I'm suffering from pneumonia?
I've heard once about a doctor treating someone with pneumonia and
finally he died of typhus."
"Don't worry, it won't happen to me. If I treat someone with pneumonia
he will die of pneumonia."
Doctor: "I've got very bad news - you've got cancer and Alzheimer's"
Patient: "Well, at least I don't have cancer"
Funny Medical Jokes -- Short Doctor Jokes
The surgeon told his patient that woke up after having been operated:
"I'm afraid we're going to have to operate you again.
Because, you see, I forgot my rubber gloves inside you."
"Well, if it's just because of them, I'd rather pay for them if you
just leave me alone."
"My doctor told me to take something for my cold."
"What did you take?"
"His Coat!"
A mother complained to her doctor about her daughters strange eating
habits.
"All day long she lies in bed and eats yeast and car wax.
What will happen to her?
"Eventually" said the doctor, "she will rise and shine!"
Wife: Doctor My husband thinks he's a satellite dish.
Doctor: Don't worry I can cure him.
Wife: I don't want him cured I want you to adjust him to get the movie
channel.
Did you hear about the Siamese twins?
Everything goes in one ear and out the brother.
Did you hear about the man who fell into an upholstery machine?
He's fully recovered.
What Other Jokes Have Been Submitted
a man goes to the doctors, the doctor says whats the problem, the man says its my willie its like a rocket !!
doctor says bloody hell it is like a …
