Funny One Line Jokes

A man rushed into the doctor's office and shouted,

"Doctor, doctor! I think I'm shrinking!"

The doctor responded,

"Now, settle down.

You'll just have to be a little patient."

Two cows are standing in a field.

One says to the other,

"I was artificially inseminated this morning."

"Really???", says the other.

"True, no bull."


Gene Police: You!! Out of the pool!


A duck walks into a drugstore and asks for a tube of ChapStick.

The cashier says to the duck, “That’ll be $1.49.”

The duck replies, “Put it on my bill!”


Two cannibals are eating a comedian.

One cannibal turns to the other and asks, “Does this taste funny to you?”

More Funny One Line Jokes..

"Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.' "

"That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome."

"Is it common?"

"It's not unusual."

Why did the man drown in a bowl of muesli?

He was pulled under by a strong currant..


What you call dog with no legs?

Doesn't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.


Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I've lost an electron."

The other says, "Are you sure?"

The first replies, "Positive."


A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says, "My dog's cross-eyed.

Is there anything you can do for him?"

"Well," says the vet. "Let's have a look at him."

So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth.

Finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put him down."

"What! Because he's cross-eyed?"

"No, because he's really heavy."


Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says, "dam".

Patient: Doctor! Doctor! Everyone keeps on copying me!

Doctor: Doctor! Doctor! Everyone keeps on copying me!

More Funny One Line Jokes..

Deja Moo:  The feeling that you've heard this bull before.


What's the definition of mixed emotions?

When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.


What is the difference between Windows 95 and Windows 98?

Three years


How does Bill Gates screw in a lightbulb?

He doesn't.

He declares darkness the industry standard.

Here are some more funny one line jokes

Best One Line Jokes

Hilarious Bumper Stickers

Hilarious Clean Jokes: Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

Custom Search

You Are Secure!

[?]Subscribe To This Site
  • follow us in feedly
  • Add to My Yahoo!
  • Add to My MSN
  • Subscribe with Bloglines

Bookmark and Share