FUNNY PRACTICAL JOKES

A great practical joke involves on of those long line-ups for tickets to a concert or something.



First you go to the front of the line and then walk the entire length, looking over everyone as if you were trying to find a friend. When you get to the back you walk back to the front doing the same thing, but this time even slower.

Then when you reach the front you turn and quickly run to the back again, machine-gunning everybody as you go.

Then you go up to the ticket office and say "Get it?" This is a classic joke and as you can see it is also quite practical, since it gets you to the front of the line very fast.

-- Funny Practical Jokes --

Knock on victim's door. Say, "I've got to use your window, someone's about to jump from an apartment above yours."

Run to window and look outside, but don't let victim look.

At this point your accomplice dumps a rag-filled dummy either from the window above or from the roof.

The dummy should be fully closed; for added realism put some plastic bags of fake blood inside the clothes.

On the sidewalk below, a third accomplice puts down a plastic sheet, then covers it with a sheet painted to resemble the sidewalk.

After the body hits, let the victim see the gore, then convince him to run down and help while you stay and call the ambulance.

As soon as the victim has left, signal your accomplice to remove the sheets and the dummy and head for some prearranged hiding place.

Then you leave the apartment and disappear somewhere in the building; later, you make your way downstairs and leave.

The victim will race downstairs expecting to find a dead bloody body and will instead see only clean, empty pavement. Of course, it is best done late at night since the joke would be spoiled by a passer-by who informed the victim of the "body's" fate.

The fun comes imagining the victim trying to convince the police or anyone else of what happened!

-- Funny Practical Jokes --

If you have access to a two(or more) line phone, this is a great one, dial the first six numbers of your prey's phone number, and put that line on hold, then dial the other number; a pizza place, or his girlfriend is good for starters, then escalate to college offices, activist terrorist organizations and the CIA are good from then on.

After you dial the second number, quickly put the second number on hold, then dial the last number of the first number and push BOTH buttons down at the same time to activate both calls at once, then listen, but don't laugh, or they might hear you and do worse in return.

-- Funny Practical Jokes --

Next time when you are having dinner, keep an empty jug of water on the table.

When somebody asks you to pass the jug, pretend while picking it up that it is full of water and heavy.

Keep the jug on the table near the victim.

The victim will apply what he/she considers is appropriate strength needed to pick up the jug.

This will cause the jug to jerk up to a significant height.

The sight is very funny and so is the victim's face.

-- Funny Practical Jokes --

Buy a BIG pile of magazines of every conceivable sort, and clip every coupon for a catalog, trial product, free brochure, etc.

Specialty magazines have the most, such as hobbies or sports (or computers).

Your victim should be deluged with junk mail (and since most such lists get sold to other lists, the response will be a geometric function of the number of clips you send).

Enter subscriptions in his name to the most filthy magazines you can find, and change his address by one so his NEIGHBOR receives them.

-- Funny Practical Jokes --

This one takes a bit of time for preparation but it's worth the time..

Get a quart jar with a rubber seal. (Mason jars work quite well.)

Pour about 1/4 to 1/2 inch of crystal Drano along with about an inch or so of warm water into the jar.

Place the lid on the jar and allow the mixture to sit in a warm place for about an hour. Take the lid off and add six egg whites, (no yokes).

Add a quarter cup of Methylene Blue, then fill the jar to within an inch of the top with water.

Seal the jar tightly and allow to sit for four to six weeks. (I warned you it takes a while!)

When the 'bomb' is ready to use, you can either throw it like a molitov(sp?) cocktail, or shake it up and pour the contents out, making damn sure you don't get any on yourself.

The results have to be seen, or is that smelled, to be beleived!

-- Funny Practical Jokes --

To be done in warmer climates: break apart oreo cookies so that white, creamy filling sticks to 1/2 of cookie (the way most kids eat them).

Discard or eat other 1/2 of cookie without filling.

Place cookies (filling side down) on victim's car -- this should take several bags of cookies. When the warm sun hits the victim's car, the cookies ooooooooozzzzzzzzzzzzzzeee down the car, leaving opaque stripes.

Really quite a sight! Really!