Funny Spanish Jokes

A man travels to Spain and goes to a Madrid restaurant for a late dinner.

He orders the house special and he is brought a plate with potatoes, corn, and two large meaty objects.

"What's this?" he asks. "Cojones, senor," the waiter replies.

"What are cojones?" the man asks. "Cojones," the waiter explains, "are the testicles of the bull who lost at the arena this afternoon."

At first the man is disgusted, but being the adventurous type, he decides to try this local delicacy.

To his amazement, it is quite delicious. In fact, it is so good that he decides to come back again the next night and order it again.

After the dinner the man informed the waiter that these were even better than the pair he had the previous afternoon but the portion was much smaller.

"Senor," the waiter explains, "the bull does not lose every time."

-- Funny Spanish Jokes -- Spanish Mexican Jokes --

Three Spanish tourists are up in a tree in Mexico when a policeman sees them.

"What are you doing up there?

Come on men, get down. Let's not have any of you falling and getting hurt!"

The guys get down ... "Ok. Now, who are you?"

"Wow, what a memory! We are the Spanish dudes from the tree!"

-- Funny Spanish Jokes -- Mexican Spanish Jokes --

Spanish singer Julio Iglesias was on television with British TV host Anne Diamond when he used the word 'manyana'.

Diamond asked him to explain what it meant.

He said that the term means "maybe the job will be done tomorrow, maybe the next day, maybe the day after that. Perhaps next week, next month, next year. Who cares?"

The host turned to Irishman Shay Brennan who was also on the show and asked him if there was an equivalent term in Irish.

"No. In Ireland we don't have a word to describe that degree of urgency," replied Brennan.

-- Funny Spanish Joke --

A Cuban, a Scot, a Spaniard, and an Irishman are sharing a carriage on a train to Belfast.

The Cuban lights up this enormous Cuban cigar, takes one short drag from it and flings the cigar out the window.

The other three look at him in amazement and ask why he just threw out a full Cuban cigar.

He says, "I'm from Cuba, we have thousands of those things back home."

The Scot pulls out a litre bottle of Bells Whiskey, a 50 year-old bottle, takes a short measure glass, half fills it, knocks it back and flings the remainder of the bottle out the window.

The other three are in shock, ask him why he just threw away a near full bottle of fine malt Scottish whiskey??!!

He replies, "I'm Scottish, we have thousands of those things at home."

The Spaniard pulls out a flagon of red wine, a 100 year-old classic. He takes a couple of sips, licks his lips, and flings the remainder of the wine out the window.

The other three ask him why he just threw away a near full bottle of classic wine, he replies, "I'm Spanish, I have thousands of those things back home."

The Irish then grabs the Spaniard and throws him out the window.

-- Funny Spanish Jokes --

There is a guy who arrives to a town in western Spain, he seems like a charlatan and begins to advertise a potion, which supposedly keeps him young despite the fact that he is three hundred years old.

A farmer, having doubts, approaches one of his assistants.

"Hey, is it really true that this guy has lived three hundred years?"

"I don't know, I have only worked with him for two hundred."

-- Funny Spanish Jokes -- Spanish Vocabulary Jokes --

A Spanish patient goes to an English doctor.

Doctor: "What is it that's brought you here?"

Patient: "An ambulance. Why?"

-- Funny Spanish Jokes -- Spanish Doctor Jokes --

Alonzo visits Doctor Pedro this time..

Alonzo: "Doctor, doctor, I see blue elephants everywhere."

Pedro: "Have you seen a psychologist yet?"

Alonzo: "No, just blue elephants."

-- Funny Spanish Jokes -- Short Spanish Sayings and Jokes --

A Spanish guy enters a hospital to have a minor operation.

A nurse begins to take down his information: name, insurance company, etc.

"In case of emergency, whom should we notify?"

"You mean if I become very sick?"

"Well . . . yes."

"If that happens, call a doctor!"

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