Funny Wedding Jokes

Things NOT to Say on your Wedding Night

Are you sure I don't know you from somewhere?

Did you know the ceiling needs painting?

I wish we got the Playboy channel...

Do you mind if I make a few phone calls?

I really hate women who actually think sex means something!

This would be more fun with a few more people..

Do you accept Visa?

Can you please pass me the remote control?

How long do you plan to be 'almost there'?

But I just brushed my teeth...

Maybe it would help if I thought about someone I really like...

I thought you had the keys to the handcuffs!

Do you get any premium movie channels?

Did I mention my transsexual operation?

(holding a banana) It's just a little trick I learned at the zoo!

Hurry up! This room rents by the hour!

Please understand that I'm only doing this for a raise...

Sorry about the name tags, I'm not very good with names.

Put that blender back in the kitchen where it belongs!

When is this supposed to feel good?

Did I mention the video camera?

On second thought, let's turn off the lights.

What are you planning to make for breakfast?

Hic! I need another beer for this please.

I told you it wouldn't work without batteries!

Hey, when is it going to be my friend's turn?

Maybe we should call Dr. Ruth...

You mean you're NOT my blind date?

-- Funny Wedding Jokes -- Funny Wedding Jokes --

Bill had always been a prankster.

As each of his friends were married, Bill made sure some type of practical joke was played upon them.

Now ready to be married himself, he was dreading the payback he knew was coming.

Surprisingly, the ceremony went off without a hitch.

No one stood up during the pause to offer a reason ‘why this couple should not be married’.

His reception wasn’t disrupted by streakers or strippers, and the car the couple was to take on their honeymoon was in perfect working order.

When the couple arrived at their hotel and entered the room, Bill even checked for cornflakes in the bed (a gag he had always loved).

Nothing, it seemed, was amiss. Satisfied that he had come away unscathed, the couple fell into bed.

Upon waking, the couple was ravenous so Bill called down to room service and asked, “I’d like to order breakfast for two.”

At that moment, a soft voice from under the bed said, “Make that five.”

What Other Jokes Have Been Submitted

Click below to see contributions from other visitors to this page...

Why Do Brides Wear White? Not rated yet
A little girl at a wedding asked, "Mommy, why do brides always wear white?" The mom replied, "Because they're happy, dear." After a bit of thinking …

More Funny Wedding Jokes:

Clean Wedding Jokes

Wedding MC Jokes and Wedding Toast Jokes

Wedding Anniversary Jokes

50th Wedding Anniversary Jokes

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