HALLOWEEN JOKES RIDDLES 

On Halloween night three vampires go into a bar and order a few drinks.

1st vampire says, "I'll have a glass of O Positive."

2nd vampire says, "I'll have a glass of O Positive, too!"

3rd vampire says, "I'm the designated driver so I'll just have a glass of plasma."

The waitress turns toward the bartender and yells,

"Gimme two bloods and one blood lite!"

Short Jokes about Halloween

Why did the vampire go to the orthodontist?

To improve his bite.

Why do witches use brooms to fly on?

Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy.

How do witches keep their hair in place while flying?

With scare spray.

What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a vampire?

A fur coat that fangs around your neck.

Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?

No, they eat the fingers separately.

Why don't skeletons ever go out on the town?

Because they don't have any body to go out with.

What did the ghost eat at his birthday party?
I scream!

-- Halloween Jokes Riddles --

What would a monster's psychiatrist be called?

Shrinkenstein.

What did one ghost say to the other ghost?

"Do you believe in people?"

Why do mummies have trouble keeping friends?

They're so wrapped up in themselves.

What kind of streets do zombies like the best?

Dead ends.

What does the papa ghost say to his family when driving?

Fasten your sheet belts. 

What is a vampire's favorite mode of transportation?

A blood vessel.

What is a ghost's favorite mode of transportation?

A scareplane.

What type of dog do vampire's like the best?

Bloodhounds.

What is a skeleton's favorite musical instrument?

A trombone.

-- Halloween Jokes Riddles -- 

Why do vampires need mouthwash?

They have bat breath.

What's a vampire's favorite fast food?

A guy with very high blood pressure.

Why did the Vampire subscribe to the Wall Street Journal?

He heard it had great circulation.

Why was the skeleton afraid to cross the road?

It had no guts.

What did Dracula say when he kissed his vampire girlfriend?

Ouch...

How do monsters tell their future?

They read their horrorscope.

What do zombies like to eat at a cook out?

Halloweenies.

What is Dracula's favorite kind of coffee?

Decoffinated.

-- Halloween Jokes Riddles --

What did the mother ghost say to her son?

Don't spook unless you are spooken to.

Where do fasionable ghosts shop for sheets?

At bootiques.

What ride do spirits like best at the amusement park?

The roller ghoster.

Why did the skeleton climb a tree?

Because a dog was after its bones.

What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween.

What did the witch say to the midget vampire skeleton?

Bony little bloodsucker, aren't you?

Why did the Cyclops have to close his school?

He only had one pupil.

-- Halloween Jokes Riddles --

Why isn't Dracula invited to many Halloween parties?

Because he's a pain in the neck.

Who is a skeleton's favorite emperor.

Napoleon Boneaparte.

Why did the vampires cancel their baseball game?

They couldn't find their bats.

What did the skeleton say to the bartender?

I'll have two beers and a mop.

What did the mummy say to the detective?

Let's wrap this case up.

Where was satan's son born?

Deathlehem.

Why can't skeletons play music in church?

Because they have no organs.

How do you tell twin witches apart?

You can't tell which which is which.

-- Halloween Jokes Riddles --

Similar pages: Funny Christmas Jokes