HALLOWEEN JOKES RIDDLES
hALLOWEEN jOKES rIDDLES
On
Halloween night three vampires go into a bar and order a few drinks.
1st vampire says, "I'll have a glass of O Positive."
2nd vampire says, "I'll have a glass of O Positive, too!"
3rd vampire says, "I'm the designated driver so I'll just have a glass
of plasma."
The
waitress turns toward the bartender and yells,
"Gimme two bloods and one blood lite!"
Short Jokes about Halloween
Why
did the vampire go to the orthodontist?
To improve his bite.
Why
do witches use brooms to fly on?
Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy.
How
do witches keep their hair in place while flying?
With scare spray.
What
do you get when you cross a werewolf and a vampire?
A fur coat that fangs around your neck.
Do
zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
No, they eat the fingers separately.
Why
don't skeletons ever go out on the town?
Because they don't have any body to go out with.
What
did the ghost eat at his birthday party?
I scream!
-- Halloween Jokes Riddles --
What
would a monster's psychiatrist be called?
Shrinkenstein.
What
did one ghost say to the other ghost?
"Do you believe in people?"
Why
do mummies have trouble keeping friends?
They're so wrapped up in themselves.
What
kind of streets do zombies like the best?
Dead ends.
What
does the papa ghost say to his family when driving?
Fasten your sheet belts.
What
is a vampire's favorite mode of transportation?
A blood vessel.
What
is a ghost's favorite mode of transportation?
A scareplane.
What
type of dog do vampire's like the best?
Bloodhounds.
What
is a skeleton's favorite musical instrument?
A trombone.
-- Halloween Jokes Riddles --
Why
do vampires need mouthwash?
They have bat breath.
What's
a vampire's favorite fast food?
A guy with very high blood pressure.
Why
did the Vampire subscribe to the Wall Street Journal?
He heard it had great circulation.
Why
was the skeleton afraid to cross the road?
It had no guts.
What
did Dracula say when he kissed his vampire girlfriend?
Ouch...
How
do monsters tell their future?
They read their horrorscope.
What
do zombies like to eat at a cook out?
Halloweenies.
What
is Dracula's favorite kind of coffee?
Decoffinated.
-- Halloween Jokes Riddles --
What did the
mother ghost say to her son?
Don't spook unless you are spooken to.
Where
do fasionable ghosts shop for sheets?
At bootiques.
What
ride do spirits like best at the amusement park?
The roller ghoster.
Why
did the skeleton climb a tree?
Because a dog was after its bones.
What
do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?
Hope it's Halloween.
What did the
witch say to the midget vampire skeleton?
Bony little bloodsucker, aren't you?
Why
did the Cyclops have to close his school?
He only had one pupil.
-- Halloween Jokes Riddles --
Why
isn't Dracula invited to many Halloween parties?
Because he's a pain in the neck.
Who
is a skeleton's favorite emperor.
Napoleon Boneaparte.
Why
did the vampires cancel their baseball game?
They couldn't find their bats.
What
did the skeleton say to the bartender?
I'll have two beers and a mop.
What
did the mummy say to the detective?
Let's wrap this case up.
Where
was
satan's son born?
Deathlehem.
Why
can't skeletons play music in church?
Because they have no organs.
How
do you tell twin witches apart?
You can't tell which which is which.
-- Halloween Jokes Riddles --
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