Happy Birthday Skinny-Dippin'-Joe!

by Colb
(Michigan)

Skinny-Dippin'-Joe had just turned 44, ten minutes prior to his mother jumping on him and stuffing birthday pie into his mouth.

"Eat it! eat the dang pie!!!"

"Mom!!! i'm allergic! i'll die!"

"44 is too old! nobody likes you you worthless scumbag! your frickin' name is frickin' Skinny-Dippin'-Joe= for pete's frickin' sake! Eat the dang pie!"

Skinny-Dippin'-Joe's mother, Skinny-Dippin'-Jan, backed up, then took a full speed charge running towards Skinny-Dippin'-Joe, bounced her stupid, frail, ugly body off the wall, did a backflip, began shreiking "Saaaghgagh!!", did trick maueverw with the pie in her hands, laned her triple backflip right on top of Skinny-Dippin'-Joe's shoulders, propped open his mouth with her feet, yelled "i NEVER liked you, you pig!, eat pie and die!!!", began repeatedly shouting "eat pie and die" for at least 3 minutes, and finally crammed the pie into his mouth. she then proceeded to move his stupid, dumb jaw up and down making him chew, and then, using magic, forced him to swallow.

Skinny-Dippin'-Joe managed to sqeueak out " mmm, that was kinda delicious" and then his dumb, dead, limp, stupid, worthless, valueless, dead, ugly, dead, ignorant, non-mormon, illiterate, dead corpse fell to the ground, dead and not breathing... he was dead.

his mother began crying.....tears of joy.