A park ranger stumbles onto the scene, finds the hiker eating the
eagle, and arrests him for killing an endangered species.
In court the hiker explains that he was on the edge of starvation and
had no choice.
“Considering the circumstances, I find you not guilty,” says the judge.
“But out of curiosity - what did the bald eagle taste like?”
“Well, your honour,” the hiker says,
“it tasted like a cross between a whooping crane and a woodpecker.”
Norwegian
Hiking Jokes
Ole was hiking in the mountains of Norway and he slips on a wet rock
and falls over the edge of a five-hundred-foot cliff.
He falls twenty feet and grabs hold of a bush that's growing out of a
rock.
And there he is, hanging looking down at this deep fjord down below him
- certain death -
and his hands start to perspire and he starts to slip on this bush and
he yells out, "Is anybody up there?"
And he heard a deep voice rings out in the fjord, "I'm here, Ole.
It's the Lord.
Have faith.
Let go of that bush and I will save you.
"Ole looked down, and then up, and he says, "Is anyone else up there?"
Australian
Hiking Jokes: Stolen
Tent
The Lone Ranger and Tonto went bush walking and camping in Australia.
After they got their tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep.
Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says, “Kemo Sabe,
look towards sky, what you see?”
The Lone Ranger replies, “I see millions of stars.”
“What that tell you?” asked Tonto.
The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute then says,
“Astronomically speaking, it tells me there are millions of galaxies
and potentially billions of planets.
Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo.
Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the
morning.
Theologically, the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and
insignificant.
Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.
What's it tell you,
Tonto?”
“You dumber than buffalo shit. It means someone stole the tent.”
Other Hiking Jokes: Outdoors Safety Instructions
In light of the increasing frequency of human and grizzly bear
conflicts, the Montana Department of Fish and Game is advising hikers,
hunters, and fishermen to take extra precautions and keep alert for
bears while in the field.
"We advise that outdoorsmen should wear noisy little bells on their
clothing so as not to startle bears that aren't expecting them," a
spokesman said.
"We also advise outdoorsmen to carry pepper spray with them in case of
an encounter with a bear".
It is also a good idea to watch out for fresh signs of bear activity.
Outdoorsmen should recognize the difference between black bear and
grizzly bear paw prints and scat.
A grizzly's paw is larger and its claws are longer than that of a black
bear.
Black bear scat contains lots of berries and squirrel fur.
Grizzly bear scat has little bells in it and smells like pepper.