HILARIOUS BIRTHDAY JOKES
Fred: I was going to buy you a handkerchief for your birthday.
Harry: That was a kind thought. But why didn't you?
Fred: I couldn't find one big enough for your nose.
When is your birthday?
17th January.
What year?
Every year!
Here are some more great birthday jokes:
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Grandma, is it exciting being 99?
It certainly is! If I wasn't 99 I'd be dead.
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Why couldn't prehistoric man send birthday cards?
The stamps kept falling off the rocks!
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What does a cat like to eat on his birthday?
Mice cream and cake!
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What do you give 900-pound gorilla for his birthday?
I don't know, but you'd better hope he likes it!
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When I was a child my family was so poor that the only thing I got on my birthday was a year older.
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It's my wife's birthday tomorrow.
Last week I asked her what she wanted as a present.
"Oh, I don't know", she said.
"Just give me something with diamonds".
So I'm giving her a pack of playing cards.
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Why did the boy put candles on the toilet?
He wanted to have a birthday potty!
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Why did the boy feel warm on his birthday?
Because people kept toasting him!
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What does a clam do on his birthday?
He shellabrates!
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"Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake."
Next time, take off the candles."
Here are some more great birthday jokes:
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Forget about the past, you can't change it.
Forget about the future, you can't predict it.
Forget about the present, I didn't get you one.
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Artificial intelligence is a wonderful thing.
I told my computer that today is my birthday, and it said that I needed an upgrade.
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