Hilarious Bumper Stickers

If you can read this, I've lost my trailer.

Motorcycle version: If you can read this, my wife fell off!

Don't drink while driving. You could spill your drink.

Don't follow me. I'm lost too.

Don't piss me off! I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.

CAUTION! - Driver legally blonde!

I can go from 0 to BITCH in 2.5 seconds

My other bumper sticker is funny.

My other car is a broom

My other car is also a piece of junk

So many pedestrians. So little time.

Heavily medicated for your safety.

A real gentleman wouldn't stare at my stickers.

-- Hilarious Bumper Stickers --

Beat rush hour, leave work at noon

Women are born leaders, you are following one now.

Forget About World Peace. Visualize Using Your Turn Signal.

Jesus died for my sins and all I got was this lousy bumper sticker.

Driver carries less than in ammunition.

I'm not as think as you drunk I am.

This bumper sticker intentionally left blank.

Horn Broke. Watch For Finger.

The good thing about small cars is that you can fit twice as many into a traffic jam.

I may be slow but I'm in front of you!

Don't follow me. I am going fishing.

Save your breath. I only listen to tides.

Driver carries no cash. He's married.

I have a nice body. It's in my trunk.

Everyone who drives slower than me is an idiot.

Everyone who drives faster than me is an maniac.

I have an IQ in the top 2%. Who cares about the other 95%?

I don't know why I'm even out of bed.

-- Hilarious Bumper Stickers --

Beer is now cheaper than gas. Drink, don't drive!

I'm not perfect, but I'm so close that it scares me.

If you observe this vehicle being operated in an unsafe manner, please try to think of it as one more anomoly in the cosmic order.

On the journey of life, I choose the psycho path.

Honk if the twins fall out.

Follow that car, Godzilla - and step on it!

If you can't read this, thank the teacher's union

Faster than a speeding ticket.

I drive the speed limit. If you don't like it, call a cop.

If you can read this, I can slam on my brakes and sue you.

Caution I brake for hookers

Back Off! I'm a Postal Worker

Get off my ass before I start to like it!

As a matter of fact, I do own the road.

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