HILARIOUS DOGS JOKES
Hilarious Dogs -- A Dog Wants an Office Job
A local business was looking for office help.
They put a following sign in the window: "HELP WANTED."
Must be able to type, good with computers and bilingual.
We are an Equal Opportunity Employer."
A short time afterwards, a dog walked up to the window, saw the sign and went inside.
He looked at the receptionist and wagged his tail, then walked over to the sign and looked at it.
Getting the idea, the receptionist got the office manager.
The office manager looked at the dog and was surprised, to say the least.
But the dog looked determined so he lead him into the office.
Inside, the dog jumped up on the chair and stared at the manager.
The manager said, "I am afraid can't hire you.
The sign says you have to be able to type."
The dog jumped down, went to the typewriter and typed out a perfect letter.
He took out the page and gave it to the manager, then jumped back on the chair.
The manager was stunned, but said,
"The sign says you have to be good with computers."
The dog jumped down again and went to the computer, entered and executed a perfect program.
By this time the manager was totally dumb-founded!
He looked at the dog and said, "I realize that you are a very intelligent dog.
However, I still can't give you the job."
The dog jumped down and went to a copy of the sign and put his paw on the sentences that told about being an Equal Opportunity Employer.
The manager said, "Yes, but the sign also says that you have to be bilingual".
The dog looked at the manager and said "Meow."
Hilarious Dogs -- Hilarious Dogs Jokes -- Animal Behavior Jokes
A butcher is busy at work, it is just before the closing time when a dog comes into his shop.
The dog had a ten dollar bill in his mouth, and a note that reads, "Can I have 12 sausages and a leg of lamb, please."
The butcher takes the money, puts the sausages and lamb in a bag, and places it in the dog's mouth.
The butcher is very impressed and decides to close up shop and follow the dog.
The dog is walking down the street and comes to a crossing.
It puts the bag down, jumps up and presses the crossing button.
Then he waits patiently for the lights to change.
They do and he walks across the road, with the butcher following.
The dog then goes to a bus stop, and starts looking at the timetable.
The butcher is in awe at this stage.
The dog checks out the times, and sits on one of the seats and waits for the bus.
A bus comes along.
The dog walks to the front of the bus, looks at the number, and goes back to his seat.
Another bus comes.
Again the dog goes and looks at the number, notices it's the right bus, and climbs on.
The butcher, by now open-mouthed, follows him onto the bus.
The bus goes through town and out to the suburbs.
Eventually the dog gets up, moves to the front of the bus, stands on his hind legs and pushes the button to stop the bus.
It gets off, groceries in his mouth, with the butcher following.
They walk down the road, and the dog turns into a house.
He walks up the path, drops the groceries on the step and rings the doorbell.
The butcher watches as a big guy opens the door, and starts yelling at the dog.
The butcher runs up and stops the guy. "What the heck are you doing?
This dog is a genius. He is so clever he could be on TV!"
"Clever, my ass," the guy responds, "This is the second time this week he's forgotten his key!"
Hilarious Dogs -- Hilarious Dogs Jokes -- Animal Jokes Two Angry Neighbors
A guy comes home from work one day and finds his dog with the neighbor's pet rabbit in his mouth.
The rabbit is dead and the guy panics.
He thinks the neighbors are going to hate him forever, so he takes the chewed-up rabbit into the house, gives it a bath, blow-dries its fur, and puts the rabbit back into the cage at the neighbor's house, hoping that they will think it died of natural causes.
A few days later, the neighbor is outside and asks the guy, "Did you hear that Fluffy died?"
The guy stumbles around and says, "Um.. no.. what happened?"
The
neighbor replies, "We just found him dead in his cage one day, but the
weird thing is that the day after we buried him we went outside and
someone had dug him up, gave him a bath and put him back into the cage.
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