Hilarious Love Quotes

A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him. - Brendan Francis

Love is an electric blanket with somebody else in control of the switch. - Cathy Carlyle

Marriage is a romance in which the heroine dies in the first chapter. - Cecilia Egan

I'm always looking for meaningful one night stands. - Dudley Moore

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

Romantic love is mental illness. But it's a pleasurable one. It's a drug. It distorts reality, and that's the point of it.

It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw. - Fran Lebowitz

It is impossible to love and be wise. - Francis Bacon

-- Hilarious Love Quotes --

Marriage marks the end of many short follies - being one long stupidity. - Friedrich Nietzsche

Love is a mutual self-giving which ends in self-recovery. - Fulton J. Sheen

Men are from Earth. Women are from Earth. Deal with it. - George Carlin

Remember, beneath every cynic there lies a romantic, and probably an injured one. - Glenn Beck

Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your heart or burn down your house, you can never tell. - Joan Crawford

It's been so long since I made love, I can't even remember who gets tied up. - Joan Rivers

Trust your husband, adore your husband, and get as much as you can in your own name. - Joan Rivers

-- Hilarious Love Quotes --

You have to walk carefully in the beginning of love;

the running across fields into your lover's arms can only come later when you're sure they won't laugh if you trip. - Jonathan Carroll

No matter how love-sick a woman is, she shouldn't take the first pill that comes along. - Joyce Brothers

If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married. - Katharine Hepburn

True love is like seeing ghosts; we all talk about it, but few of us have ever seen one. - La Rochefoucauld

If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question. - Lily Tomlin

The only people who make love all the time are liars. - Louis Jordan

-- Hilarious Love Quotes --

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he's a baby. - Natalie Wood

Nothing spoils romance so much as a sense of humour in the woman. - Oscar Wilde

Love is a grave mental disease. - Plato

Whenever I date a guy, I think, is this the man that I want my children to spend their weekends with? - Rita Rudner

All marriages are happy. It's trying to live together afterwards that causes all the problems. - Shelley Winters

I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy. - Steve Martin

-- Hilarious Love Quotes --

A love without indiscretion is no lover at all. - Thomas Hardy

Marriage is a great institution for those who like institutions. - Tommy Dewar

Love is only a dirty trick played on us to achieve continuation of the species. - W. Somerset Maugham

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known. - Walt Disney

Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions. - Woody Allen

The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue of Liberty - Woody Allen

Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go, it's one of the best. - Woody Allen

-- Hilarious Love Quotes --

Shopping is better than sex. At least if you're not satisfied, you can exchange it for something you really like. - Adrienne Gusoff

An archeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her. - Agatha Christie

Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed. - Albert Einstein

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity. - Albert Einstein

If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to do it? - Bette Midler

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