Hilarious Movie Quotes

All I've ever wanted was an honest week's pay for an honest day's work.

- Steve Martin (Bilko)

You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly, but I bet you ain't never seen a donkey fly!

- Eddie Murphy (Shrek)

I'm not bad, I'm just drawn that way.

- Jessica Rabbit (Who Framed Roger Rabbit)

Glue... very powerful stuff.

(The Blues Brothers)

Reporter: Tell me, how did you find America?

John Lennon: Turned left at Greenland. (A Hard Day's Night)

If I'm not back in five minutes... wait longer!

- Ace Ventura (Pet Detective)

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic and so am I.

- Bill Murray (What about Bob)

-- Hilarious Movie Quotes --

It's 106 miles to Chicago, we've got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses.

- Dan Aykroyd (The Blues Brothers)

Name's Barf. I'm a Mog, half man half dog. I'm my own best friend.


I haven't got a brain... only straw.

Dorothy (Judy Garland): How can you talk if you haven't got a brain?

Scarecrow: I don't know...

But some people without brains do an awful lot of talking... don't they?

Dorothy: Yes, I guess you're right. (Wizard of Oz).

Oh. If I just wasn't a lady. What wouldn't I tell that varmint.

- Scarlett (Vivian Leigh) in 'Gone With The Wind

Evil will always triumph over good because good is dumb.

- Dark Helmet (Space Balls)

Major Strasser (Conrad Veidt): What is your nationality?

Rick Blaine (Humphrey Bogart): I'm a drunkard. Capt. Louis Renault (Claude Rains):

That makes Rick a citizen of the world. (Casablanca)

Gentlemen. You can't fight in here. This is the War Room.

- President Merkin Muffley (Dr. Strangelove).

Lois: How would you like me to make your life a living hell?

Ace Ventura: Well, I'm not really ready for a relationship, Lois, but thank you for asking.

Hey, maybe I'll give you a call sometime. Your number's still 911? All righty then.

- Ace Ventura (Pet Detective).

-- Hilarious Movie Quotes

I have a love interest in every one of my films - a gun.

- Arnold Schwarzenegger

Hey, don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love.

- Woody Allen (Annie Hall)

You might be a cunning linguist, but I am a master debater.

- Mike Myers (Goldmember)

I don't know what to say, so I'll just say what's in my heart... Baboom, Baboom, Baboom.

- Mel Brooks

Clarice (Jody Foster): If you didn't kill him, then who did, sir?

Lecter (Anthony Hopkins): Who can say? Best thing for him, really.

His therapy was going nowhere.

(Silence of the Lambs).

I've got a good mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.

- Groucho Marx (Duck Soup)

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