All I've ever wanted was an
honest week's pay for an honest day's work.
- Steve Martin (Bilko)
You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly, but I bet you ain't never seen a donkey fly!
- Eddie Murphy (Shrek)
I'm not bad, I'm just drawn that way.
- Jessica Rabbit (Who Framed Roger Rabbit)
Glue... very powerful stuff.
(The Blues Brothers)
Reporter: Tell me, how did you find America?
John Lennon: Turned left at Greenland. (A Hard Day's Night)
If I'm not back in five minutes... wait longer!
- Ace Ventura (Pet Detective)
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic and so am I.
- Bill Murray (What about Bob)
-- Hilarious Movie Quotes --
It's 106 miles to Chicago, we've got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses.
- Dan Aykroyd (The Blues Brothers)
Name's Barf. I'm a Mog, half man half dog. I'm my own best friend.
I haven't got a brain... only straw.
Dorothy (Judy Garland): How can you talk if you haven't got a brain?
Scarecrow: I don't know...
But some people without brains do an awful lot of talking... don't they?
Dorothy: Yes, I guess you're right. (Wizard of Oz).
Oh. If I just wasn't a lady. What wouldn't I tell that varmint.
- Scarlett (Vivian Leigh) in 'Gone With The Wind
Evil will always triumph over good
because good is dumb.
- Dark Helmet (Space Balls)
Major Strasser (Conrad Veidt): What is your nationality?
Rick Blaine (Humphrey Bogart): I'm a drunkard. Capt. Louis Renault (Claude Rains):
That makes Rick a citizen of the world. (Casablanca)
Gentlemen. You can't fight in here. This is the War Room.
- President Merkin Muffley (Dr. Strangelove).
Lois: How would you like me to make your life a living hell?
Ace Ventura: Well, I'm not really ready for a relationship, Lois, but thank you for asking.
Hey, maybe I'll give you a call sometime. Your number's still 911? All righty then.
- Ace Ventura (Pet Detective).
-- Hilarious Movie Quotes
I have a love interest in every one of my films - a gun.
- Arnold Schwarzenegger
Hey, don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love.
- Woody Allen (Annie Hall)
You might be a cunning linguist, but I am a master debater.
- Mike Myers (Goldmember)
I don't know what to say, so
I'll just say what's in my heart... Baboom, Baboom, Baboom.
- Mel Brooks
Clarice (Jody Foster): If you didn't kill him, then who did, sir?
Lecter (Anthony Hopkins): Who can say? Best thing for him, really.
His therapy was going nowhere.
(Silence of the Lambs).
I've got a good mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.
- Groucho Marx (Duck Soup)