HILARIOUS POEMS
Computers...Who'd Have 'em?
Get on the Internet everyone said
It's the move that I knew I would dread
Letting gremlins into my home
Around my computer they'll roam
If I find them, they'll wish they were dead!
We logged on just as usual that night
It logged off, and it gave me a fright!
It left me a message…. How kind
That would drive me out of my mind
And introduce me to a new web site
-- Hilarious Poems --
I've found Window's updates & it's true
They are designed to help me and you,
If only I'd done what they'd asked
Instead of moving on past
Perhaps tonight I wouldn't be in this stew?
I've followed instructions for Windows XP
At this rate I'll be up until 3
I've been at it since 5
But there's no worm alive
That's going to get the better of me!
-- Hilarious Poems --
Now as a beginner I found I've got "back up"
It's called Microsoft and hey they're no pup!
When it comes to ironing out
All these problems, well there's no doubt
Microsoft, to you I raise my cup!
OK so now I'm au fait with "update"
And I promise never more will I be late
I'll watch out and I won't take a chance
I'll make my Microsoft Assistant dance
They'll be downloaded, I'm not going to tempt fate!
I've a Firewall, aren't I the lucky one?
That's another thing that I should have done!
Oh these computers they are swell
'Till you get…the Virus from Hell
And then you just wish you'd never heard of .com
-- Hilarious Poems --
I've heard "you can't get this virus from e-mail"
Oh yeah & whose flagship are you trying to sail?
You can get it from the source
Then you've to let it run it's course
Next… there's the message "hey you've got mail!"
Do I open it? I wonder if it's right?
If I do… then what will be my plight?
Will I live and rue the day
That I let worms come out to play
Will I just delete it, perhaps I just might
Now my son needs to connect to the Internet
He has homework to do for school…and yet
I wonder what it was we did before
We opened up the Computer door
Oh we "did" Library, and hey what a safe bet!
Copyright Cathie Dunn
-- Funny Hilarious Poems -- Drive Thru
I rose this morn with much to do -
Hopped in the car and off I flew.
No time for breakfast, that I knew -
Glad "Dunkin DoNuts" has Drive Thru.
In need of dollars, quite a few -
Went to the bank teller's Drive Thru.
Then filled all my prescriptions too -
At "Pharmacy's" brand new Drive Thru.
Some bills to mail in box of blue -
Off to the "Post Office" Drive Thru.
-- Hilarious Poems --
Picked up the laundry cleaned anew -
Just stopped at "Suds & Duds" Drive Thru.
With lunchtime near, my tummy's queue -
Got a "Big Mac" from the Drive Thru.
The car by then was low on fuel -
Full serve at "Shell", just Drive on Thru.
And when they fill the tank for you -
Your car's washed free - in their Drive Thru.
Library books were overdue -
The curbside slot is a Drive Thru.
Then videos must go back too -
"Blockbuster" has their own Drive Thru.
In need of milk and bread, I knew -
I stopped at "Dairymaid's" Drive Thru.
The family asked "Please, can we do -
The "Drive In" show when dinner's thru???"
Copyright Nancy Ness
Hilarious Poems -- Sweet Thang
Shufflin in the doorway
hat in hand, silly smile
askin fo forgivness -
Been thinkin all day
at work, couldn't stop
thinkin I shore am sorry.
Canna y'all forgive me,
my sweethart?
I shore be sorry.
Donna know whys
I acted da fool,
iz zit ok, honey?
Man, I be dyin
fo one o your smiles
maybe jus a teensy, baby.
Mama, canna y'all
give a yo Daddy
jus a little sugar?
I be tellin ya
thata itz my own fault
shouldnna hollered at you.
Iz a right sorry now
I a picked y'all some flowers
juz fo you, Mama!
Do y'all think
I coulda juz get a bite
maybe to hold me o're, baby?
Shufflin in the doorway
hat in hand, silly smile
askin fo forgivness.
Copyright Daniel James Burt
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