Hilarious Poems

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Computers...Who'd Have 'em?

Get on the Internet everyone said

It's the move that I knew I would dread

Letting gremlins into my home

Around my computer they'll roam

If I find them, they'll wish they were dead!

We logged on just as usual that night

It logged off, and it gave me a fright!

It left me a message…. How kind

That would drive me out of my mind

And introduce me to a new web site

-- Hilarious Poems --

I've found Window's updates & it's true

They are designed to help me and you,

If only I'd done what they'd asked

Instead of moving on past

Perhaps tonight I wouldn't be in this stew?

I've followed instructions for Windows XP

At this rate I'll be up until 3

I've been at it since 5

But there's no worm alive

That's going to get the better of me!

-- Hilarious Poems --

Now as a beginner I found I've got "back up"

It's called Microsoft and hey they're no pup!

When it comes to ironing out

All these problems, well there's no doubt

Microsoft, to you I raise my cup!

OK so now I'm au fait with "update"

And I promise never more will I be late

I'll watch out and I won't take a chance

I'll make my Microsoft Assistant dance

They'll be downloaded, I'm not going to tempt fate!

I've a Firewall, aren't I the lucky one?

That's another thing that I should have done!

Oh these computers they are swell

'Till you get…the Virus from Hell

And then you just wish you'd never heard of .com

-- Hilarious Poems --

I've heard "you can't get this virus from e-mail"

Oh yeah & whose flagship are you trying to sail?

You can get it from the source

Then you've to let it run it's course

Next… there's the message "hey you've got mail!"

Do I open it? I wonder if it's right?

If I do… then what will be my plight?

Will I live and rue the day

That I let worms come out to play

Will I just delete it, perhaps I just might

Now my son needs to connect to the Internet

He has homework to do for school…and yet

I wonder what it was we did before

We opened up the Computer door

Oh we "did" Library, and hey what a safe bet!

Copyright Cathie Dunn

-- Funny Hilarious Poems -- Drive Thru

I rose this morn with much to do -

Hopped in the car and off I flew.

No time for breakfast, that I knew -

Glad "Dunkin DoNuts" has Drive Thru.

In need of dollars, quite a few -

Went to the bank teller's Drive Thru.

Then filled all my prescriptions too -

At "Pharmacy's" brand new Drive Thru.

Some bills to mail in box of blue -

Off to the "Post Office" Drive Thru.

-- Hilarious Poems --

Picked up the laundry cleaned anew -

Just stopped at "Suds & Duds" Drive Thru.

With lunchtime near, my tummy's queue -

Got a "Big Mac" from the Drive Thru.

The car by then was low on fuel -

Full serve at "Shell", just Drive on Thru.

And when they fill the tank for you -

Your car's washed free - in their Drive Thru.

Library books were overdue -

The curbside slot is a Drive Thru.

Then videos must go back too -

"Blockbuster" has their own Drive Thru.

In need of milk and bread, I knew -

I stopped at "Dairymaid's" Drive Thru.

The family asked "Please, can we do -

The "Drive In" show when dinner's thru???"

Copyright Nancy Ness

Hilarious Poems -- Sweet Thang

Shufflin in the doorway

hat in hand, silly smile

askin fo forgivness -

Been thinkin all day

at work, couldn't stop

thinkin I shore am sorry.

Canna y'all forgive me,

my sweethart?

I shore be sorry.

Donna know whys

I acted da fool,

iz zit ok, honey?

Man, I be dyin

fo one o your smiles

maybe jus a teensy, baby.

Mama, canna y'all

give a yo Daddy

jus a little sugar?

I be tellin ya

thata itz my own fault

shouldnna hollered at you.

Iz a right sorry now

I a picked y'all some flowers

juz fo you, Mama!

Do y'all think

I coulda juz get a bite

maybe to hold me o're, baby?

Shufflin in the doorway

hat in hand, silly smile

askin fo forgivness.

Copyright Daniel James Burt

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