HILARIOUS SHORT QUOTES
It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep - not screaming, like the passengers in his car.
Girls are like phones.
They love to be held and talked to but if you press the wrong button
you'll be disconnected.
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the
average man can see better than he can think.
Men are
like bank accounts.
Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.
If your wife wants to learn to drive, don't stand in her way.
Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die.
He who laughs last didn't get it.
Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film.
There are three sides of an arguement - your side, my side and the
right side.
There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore
like an idiot.
A good vacuum hoover is the one that really sucks.
-- Hilarious
Short Quotes --
Whatever it is - I didn't do it!
When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out
my room.
Why is it called 'after dark' when it really is 'after light'?
What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I
definitely overpaid for my carpet.
This is a quantum car. I don't know where I am, but I'm going really
fast.
Money doesn't make you happy. I now have $50 million but I was just as
happy when I had $48 million.
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an
evening with an insurance salesman?
What is an astronaut's favorite key on a computer keyboard? The space
bar.
