Hilarious Text Messages

Why can a man not be handsome and intelligent at the same time? .... Because he would be a woman then.

Why was Phillip's girlfriend annoyed?

Coz she found out that Phillips 24 inch was a TV.

What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimer's disease?

Her IQ goes up.

Join the Army, meet interesting people, and kill them.

Don't let you mind wander - it's far too small to be let out on its own

Sorry, I don't date outside my species.

A priest, a rabbi, a monk and a blonde walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"

99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

Why are blondes happy when they finish a puzzle in two months time..... Because the box says : 3 till 5 years.

How many men does it take to change a toilet roll? Nobody knows. It has never happened.

What is the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO? There have been sightings of UFOs

-- Hilarious Text Messages --

Why was the leper caught speeding?

He couldn't take his foot of the accelerator.

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly; but when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

How did the Pollack burn his face?

Bobbing for french fries.

Your future depends on your dreams - So go to sleep now.

Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.

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