HILARIOUS TEXT MESSAGES 

hILARIOUS tEXT mESSAGES




Why can a man not be handsome and intelligent at the same time? .... Because he would be a woman then.

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Why was Phillip's girlfriend annoyed?

Coz she found out that Phillips 24 inch was a TV.

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What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimer's disease?

Her IQ goes up.

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Join the Army, meet interesting people, and kill them.

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Don't let you mind wander - it's far too small to be let out on its own

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Sorry, I don't date outside my species.

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Knok knok. Who's there? Marie! Marie who? Mariewhowanna get in...

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A priest, a rabbi, a monk and a blonde walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"

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99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

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Why are blondes happy when they finish a puzzle in two months time..... Because the box says : 3 till 5 years.

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Why'd the couple stop after 3 children? Cos they heard every fourth child born is chinese.

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How many men does it take to change a toilet roll? Nobody knows. It has never happened.

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What is the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO? There have been sightings of UFOs

-- Hilarious Text Messages --

Why was the leper caught speeding?

He couldn't take his foot of the accelerator.

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Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

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I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly; but when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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How did the Pollack burn his face?

Bobbing for french fries.

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Your future depends on your dreams - So go to sleep now.

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Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.


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