Funny Jokes about Computer

You are getting a bit addicted when..

You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop to check your e-mail on the way back to bed.

You name your children eudora, aol and dotcom.

You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling, as if you just pulled the plug on a loved one.

You spend half of the plane trip with your laptop on your lap...and your child in the overhead compartment.

You laugh at people with 28.8 baud modems.

You start using smileys in your snail mail.

You find yourself typing "com" after every period when using a word

You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading.

You can't call your mother...she doesn't have a modem.

You check your mail. It says "no new messages." So you check it again.

You don't know what gender three of your closest friends are because they have neutral screen names and you never bothered to ask.

When you are taking notes and in the end of the line you write .html

You move into a new house and decide to netscape before you landscape.

You tell the cab driver you live at

You start tilting your head sideways to smile :-)

-- Jokes about Computer -- Funny Jokes about Computer --

If Life Was Like a Computer..

If you messed up your life, you could press  "Ctrl, Alt, Delete" and start all over.

To get your daily exercise, just click on "run".

If you needed a break from life, click on suspend.

Hit "any key" to continue life when ready.

To get even with the neighbors,  turn up the sound blaster.

To add/remove someone in your life,  click settings and control panel.

To improve your appearance, just adjust the display settings.

If life gets too noisy, turn off the speakers.

When you lose your car keys, click on Search.

"Help" with the chores is just a click away.

Car insurance wouldn't be necessary.

You would use your CD ROM drive to recover from a crash.

To fix the things up you'd just go and change the source code.

-- Jokes about Computer -- Funny Jokes about Computer --

Computer Gender Joke

A foreign language teacher was explaining to her class that,

unlike English words, French nouns are grammatically either masculine or feminine.

Confused, one student raised his hand and asked,

"What gender is a computer?"

The French teacher wasn’t sure so she divided the class into two groups and asked them to decide if a computer should be masculine or feminine.

One group consisted of women and the other of men.

Both groups were asked to give four reasons for their choice. 

The group of men concluded that computers should be feminine because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic.

2. The language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.

3. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.

4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your pay check on accessories.

The women, on the other hand, decided that computers should definitely be masculine because:

1. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.

2. They have a lot of data but are still clueless.

3. They are supposed to help you solve your problems, but half the time they ARE the problem

4. As soon as you commit to one, you realise that, if you had waited a little longer, you could have had a better model.

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