Short Jokes about Little Johnny

Little Johnny was getting bad grades in school.

One day he stepped up to the teacher's desk, and announced,

"I don't want to scare you Miss Finch, but daddy says if I don't get better grades, somebody is gonna get a spanking."

-- Short Little Johnny Jokes --

Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms.Smith stopped to gently reprove the child.

Smiling sweetly, the Sunday School teacher said,

"Johnny, when I was a child, I was told if that I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that."

Johnny looked up and replied,

"Well, Ms Smith, you can't say you weren't warned."


Teacher asks Little Johnny, "Can you name the Great Lakes?"

You know Johnny says, "I don't need to. They've already been named."

-- Short Little Johnny Jokes --

The Sunday School Teacher asks,

"Johnny, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?"

"No sir," Little Johnny replies, "I don't have to, my mom is a good cook."

-- Short Jokes about Little Johnny --

Little Johnny's new baby brother was screaming up a storm.

He asked his mom, "Where'd we get him?"

His mother replied,  He came from heaven, Johnny.

Johnny says,  WOW! I can see why they threw him out!

-- Short Little Johnny Jokes --

Little Johnny's teacher asks,

"What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?"

Little Johnny replies, "A teacher."

-- Short Jokes about Little Johnny --

Miss Jones had been giving her second-grade students a science lesson.

She had explained about magnets and showed how they would pick up nails and other bits of iron.

Now it was question time, and she asked,

"My name begins with the letter 'M' and I pick up things.

What am I?"

Little Johnny in the front row proudly said,

"You're a mother!"

-- Short Little Johnny Jokes --

Little Johnny watched as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face.

"Why do you do that, mommy?" he asked.

"To make myself beautiful," said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue.

"What's the matter?" asked Little Johnny. "Giving up?"

-- Short Jokes about Little Johnny --

Little Johnny's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the 10 most wanted criminals.

One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person.

"Yes," said the policeman.

"The detectives want very badly to capture him."

Little Johnny asked, "Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture?"

-- Short Little Johnny Jokes --

"Dad," said Little Johnny, "I'm late for football practice.

Would you please do my homework for me?"

The father said, "No, it wouldn't be right."

"That's ok," replied Little Johnny, "but you could at least give it a try, couldn't you?"

-- Short Little Johnny Jokes --

TEACHER : Little Johnny, give me a sentence starting with "I".

Little Johnny : I is...

TEACHER : No, Little Johnny. Always say, "I am."

Little Johnny : All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

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