JOKES ABOUT MARRIAGE


Good Funny Clean Jokes about Marriage and Family

A man goes into his son's room to wish him goodnight. His son is having a nightmare.




The man wakes him and asks if he is ok.

The son replies he is scared because he dreamt that Auntie Susie had died.

The father assures the son that Auntie Susie is fine and sends him to bed.

The next day, Auntie Susie dies.

One week later, the man again goes into his son's room to wish him goodnight.

His son is having another nightmare.

The man again wakes his son and asks if he is ok.

This time the son says that he had dreamt that granddaddy had died.

The father assures the son that granddaddy is fine and sends him to bed.

The next day, granddaddy dies.

One week later, the man again goes into his son's room to wish him goodnight.

His son is having another nightmare, and the man wakes him again.

The son says that he had dreamt that daddy had died.

The father assures the son that he is ok and sends the boy to bed.

The man goes to bed but cannot sleep because he is so terrified.

The next day, the man is scared for his life, he is sure is going to die.

After dressing he drives very cautiously to work fearful of a collision.

He doesn't eat lunch because he is scared of food poisoning.

He avoids everyone for he is sure he will somehow be killed.

He jumps at every noise and hides under his desk.

Upon walking in his front door at the end of the day, he finds his wife.

"Good God, Dear," he says, "I've just had the worst day of my entire life!"

She responds,

"You think YOUR day was bad, the milkman dropped dead on the doorstep this morning."


Good Funny Clean Jokes about Marriage and Family

A guy is in a toy shop buying a birthday present for his daughter.

When asked what he would like, he simply says "a Barbie doll".

The shop assistant looks at him and asks

"Which Barbie would that be, sir?"

The man looks surprised so the assistant continues

"We have Barbie Goes to the Gym for $19.95,

Barbie Goes to the Ball for $19.95, Barbie Goes Shopping for $19.95,

Barbie dates Badd Teddy for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Beach for $19.95,

Barbie Goes Night Clubbing for $19.95, Cyber Barbie for $19.95 and

Divorced Barbie for $265.00"

The man can't help himself and asks

"why is Divorced Barbie $265.00 when all the other Barbies are selling for $19.95?"

"That's obvious." says the assistant,

"Divorced Barbie comes with Ken's house, Ken's car, Ken's furniture ...".





Good Funny Clean Jokes about Marriage and Family

Jack's grandfather left him ten million dollars,

and the following week Diane agreed to marry him.

After three months of married life,

Jack noticed that his beautiful wife was ignoring him more and more.

On the rare occasion that she would go to bed with him she would be indifferent, or even worse, called out other mens' names.

Whenever they went out in public,

she ignored him and flirted with other men.

Finally, he decided to confront her.

"Diane," he said,

"The only reason you married me was because my grandfather left me ten million dollars when he died, wasn't it?"

"Don't be ridiculous," she replied,

"I couldn't care less about who gave you the money!"


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More Good Funny Clean Jokes about Marriage and Family:

Funny Marriage Quotes

Best Marriage Proposals Jokes
 
Funny Marriage Compatibility Test

Funny Marriage Advice

Yo Family Jokes




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