Jokes about Men and Women

A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day...

30,000 to a man's 15,000.

The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...

The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"

-- Jokes about Men and Women -- Hilarious Men Jokes --

After God created Adam, and Adam had been in the Garden for a really long time, he started to get a little lonely.

So, Adam went to God and said,

"This Garden is amazing, but I'm starting to get a little lonely; is there anyone that you can send to keep me company?"

God answered, "I have the perfect person.

She will help you with almost everything.

She'll clean, cook, wash you clothes, be your friend, and even rub your feet after a long day.

She really is perfect in every way!"

Adam said, "That sounds great! How soon can you send her?"

God replied again,

"I can send her right away, but there is one thing ... it's going to cost you an arm and a leg to get her."

Adam thought for a moment, and then said,

"What can I get for a rib?"

-- Jokes about Men and Women -- Hilarious Women Jokes --

One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God.

'Lord, I have a problem!

''What's the problem, Eve?''

Lord, I know you created me and provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals and that hilarious comedic snake,

but I'm lonely, and I'm sick to death of apples.

''Well Eve, in that case, I have a solution.

I shall create a man for you.

''What's a man, Lord?''

Man will be a flawed creature, with many bad traits.

He'll lie, cheat and give you a hard time.

But... he'll be bigger, faster, and will like to hunt and kill things.

He will look silly when he's aroused, but since you've been complaining,

I'll create him in such a way that he will satisfy your physical needs.

He will be witless and will revel in childish things like fighting and kicking a ball about.

He won't be too smart, so he'll also need your advice to think properly.

''Sounds great!" says Eve, with an ironically raised eyebrow.

"What's the catch, Lord?'' Well... you can have him on one condition.

''What's that, Lord?''

As I said, he'll be proud, arrogant, and self-admiring...

So you'll have to let him believe that I made him first.

Just remember, it's our little secret.. You know, woman to woman.'

-- Jokes about Men and Women -- Hilarious Men Jokes --

A man wanted to get married.

He was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates.

He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money.

The first does a total make over.

She goes to a fancy beauty salon gets her hair done, new make up and buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man.

She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much.

The man was impressed.

The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts.

She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes.

As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much.

Again, the man is impressed.

The third invests the money in the stock market.

She earns several times the $5,000.

She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account.

She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much.

Obviously, the man was impressed.

The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money he'd given her.

Then, he married the one with the biggest boobs.

What Other Jokes Have Been Submitted

Click below to see contributions from other visitors to this page...

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God created man Not rated yet
God created man, then said to him''I didnt make u quite as smart as the woman, so here's a little something to do your thinking for you.'' and hands the …

What Not rated yet
hey honey the woman says what the guy said

hello Not rated yet
Why r u guys so sexist? Just because girls are better than boys, there's no need to argue about it. ".... says the guy. He waits for a responce …

doing laundries Not rated yet
A man just got of work and he wanted to have sex really bad.. he came home and his wife wasn't there, just the daughter who was ge the who was at the house. …

Why is a Laundromat a bad place to meet a woman? Not rated yet
Because a woman who can't afford a washing machine will never be able to support you.

What did God say after having created man? Not rated yet
What did God say after having created man? I can do better.

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