Funny Little Johny Jokes

One day, the teacher walks into her classroom and announces to the class that on each Friday, she will ask a question to the class and anyone who answers correctly doesn't have to go to school the following Monday.

On the first Friday, the teacher asks, "How many grains of sand are on the beach?"

Needless to say, no one could answer.

The following Friday, the teacher asks the class, "How many stars are in the sky?" and again no one could answer.

Frustrated, Little Johnny decides that the following Friday, he would somehow answer the question and get a three day weekend.

So Thursday night, Johnny takes two ping-pong balls and paints them blue.

The next day, he brings them to school in a paper bag.

At the end of the day, just when the teacher says, "Here's this week's question,"

Johnny empties the bag to the floor sending the ping-pong balls rolling to the front of the room.

The teacher asks, "What's this?"

Little Johnny stands up and says, "Two blue ping-pong balls, see ya on Tuesday!"

-- Funny Little Johny Jokes --

Little Johnny, on a day when he was being particularly reckless, was playing in the backyard.

Some honeybees were swirling around, annoying little Johnny.

He began stomping on them in his temper.

His father caught him trampling the honeybees, and after a brief moment of thought said, “That’s it! No honey for you for one month!”

Later that afternoon, Johnny pondered upon some butterflies, and soon started catching them and crushing them under his feet.

His father again caught him, and after a brief moment of thought, said, “No butter for you for one month!”

Early that evening, Johnny’s mother was cooking dinner, and got jumpy when cockroaches started scurrying around the kitchen floor.

She began stomping on them one by one until all the cockroaches were dead.

Johnny’s mother looked up to find Johnny and his father standing there watching her, to which Johnny said,

“Are you going to tell her, daddy, or do you want me to?”

-- Funny Little Johny Jokes --

Little Johnny was going to his fathers house one day and he was packing everthing in his room and putting it in his little red wagon.

He was walking to his fathers house with his wagon behind him, when he came to this hill.

He started up the hill but was constantly swearing "This God damn thing is so heavy".

A priest heard him and came out.

"You shouldn't be swearing" said the priest.

"God hears you. He is everywhere. He's in the chruch, He's on the sidewalk, He's everywhere".

Little Johnny says "Is he in my Wagon?"

The priest replies "Yes Johnny God is in your Wagon."

Little Johnny says "Well tell him to get the hell out of there, he's too heavy!"

A door-to-door salesman rang the bell at a suburban home, and the door was opened by Little Johnny puffing on a long black cigar.

Hiding his amazement, the salesman asked Johnny,

"Is your Mother home?"

Little Johnny took the cigar out of his mouth, flicked ashes on the carpet, and asked,

"What do you think?"

-- Funny Little Johny Jokes --

A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses.

She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you`re stupid, stand up!"

After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, "Do you think you`re stupid, Little Johnny?"

"No, ma`am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"

-- Funny Little Johny Jokes --

Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face.

"Why do you do that, mommy?" he asked.

"To make myself beautiful," said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue.

"What is the matter?" asked Little Johnny.

"Giving up?"

-- Funny Little Johny Jokes --

A Sunday school teacher asked the children just before she dismissed them to go to church, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"

Little Johnny replied, "Because people are sleeping."

What Other Jokes Have Been Submitted

Click below to see contributions from other visitors to this page...

lil' jon jon and the giant peach 
"my momma says u just don't belong in the lake of worldy power" said lil' jonjon. "yeah? YEAH???"

I like your thinking 
One day in class the teacher brought a bag full of fruit. "Now class, I'm going to reach into the bag and describe a piece of fruit, and you tell what …

little johnny joke 
Teacher asks lil johnny what he had for breakfast. Johnny replies i had f all for breakfast!!! lololol

Shopping With Little Johnny Not rated yet
5 yrs old Little Johnny and his mother went for a shopping one day at Pay Less. The mother picked up a $2.00 shampoo admiring it and putting it down …

Little Jonny the genius. Not rated yet
Little Jonny is walking past his sisters bedroom one day when he notices his sister stood in front of the mirror naked saying "i want a man". 10 mins …

little jhonny Not rated yet
the teacher said,'' we will start daily brain teasers today.'' so the teacher gave them one. a horse rode into town on friday, stayed three nites …

Sunday school Not rated yet
Little Johny was attending a sunday school, and had been for years, but was not really interested in it. Little Johny was asleep, when his teacher asked …

Little Johnny's just like Dad Not rated yet
Little Johnny's dad is a truck driver and away on a trip, so when he called home to see how everyone was doing here's what mom had to say. One day while …

Lil' John Not rated yet
yo yo yo yo yo yo yo MOMMA!!! exclaimed lil' john as he sipped his milk from a bendy straw. unfortunately he began choking because sipping and dissing …

The Carpenter's Son Not rated yet
Saint Peter books a week off, so Jesus volunteers to take over his job checking new arrivals at the Pearly Gates. After a slow start, a gray-haired …

More Little Johny Jokes:

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Other School Jokes: Funny Math Jokes

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Graduation Jokes

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