Funny Men One Line Jokes

Why do men prefer blondes?

Men always like intellectual company

Why don't men die in their sleep?

'Cos they can't do two things at the same time.

Why are men like kitchen blenders?

You need one, but you're not quite sure why.

How does a man show he's planning for the Future?

He buys two cases of beer instead of one.

How do you confuse a man?

You don't have to - they're born that way

What's the hardest thing to teach a man?

How to operate a waste basket.

Why don't men have mid-life crises?

They stay stuck in childhood.

What did God say after creating man?

I can do better.

Why do men like love at first sight?

It saves them a lot of time.

Why is psychoanalysis quicker for men than for women?

When it's time to go back to childhood, he's already there.

What do UFOs and caring men have in common?

You keep hearing about them but never see any for yourself.

-- Men One Line Jokes --

What's the most common cause of hearing loss amongst men?

Wife saying she wants to talk to him.

What does a man consider a seven course meal?

A hot dog and a six pack.

What do men and beer have in common?

They're both empty from the neck up.

Why are hangovers better than men?

Hangovers will go away

How many men does it take to screw a light bulb?

One - men will screw anything.

How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?

Who knows? Did it ever happen??

Why did the man cross the road?

Who knows why the hell men do anything?

-- Men One Line Jokes --

What is the difference between garbage and men?

Garbage gets thrown out and stays out

What are the three types of men?

The handsome, the caring and the majority.

Did you hear about the two men who went ice fishing?

They caught 200 pounds of ice, but drowned when they tried to cook it.

Why are blonde jokes so short?

So men can remember them

Why don't men wear tight underwear?

It cuts off circulation to the brain!

How are men and parking spots alike?

The good ones are always taken. The available ones are mostly handicapped or extremely small.

Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating?

To stop the snoring before it starts.

-- Men One Line Jokes --

How many divorced men does it take to screw in a light bulb?

No one knows, the ex-wife always gets the house.

Why are men like strawberries?

Because they take a long time to mature and by the time they do most are rotten.

Why does a man have a clear conscience?

Because it's never used.

Men-tal Anxiety. . . Men-opause. . . Men-tal Breakdown. . .

Ever noticed that all problems start with MEN?

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