MODELS DIETING TIPS JOKES
mODELS dIETING tIPS jOKES
This diet is designed to help you to get your body quickly into the shape of a model.
Breakfast
1/2 grapefruit
1 slice whole wheat toast
8 oz skim milk
Lunch
4 oz lean broiled chicken breast
1 cup steamed spinach
1 cup herb tea
1 Oreo cookie
Afternoon Snack
Rest of the Oreos in the package
2 pints of Rocky Road ice cream
1 jar hot fudge sauce nuts, cherries, whipped cream
Dinner
2 loaves garlic bread with cheese
1 large sausage, mushroom and cheese pizza
4-6 cans beer / alt 1-2 bottles of wine
3 Milky Way or Snickers candy bars
Before bed time: Entire cheesecake from fridge.
-- Models Doeting Tips Jokes --
A few facts that this diet is based on, and a few tips about how to make any diet even more effective:
When you eat with someone else, calories don't count as long as you don't eat more than the other people do.
Food eaten quickly doesn't count. If you gulp a meal down, the calories get no time to make any impact on you.
Food consumed for medical purposes doesn't count. This includes hot chocolate, brandy, and toast with honey on.
Food eaten while standing up has got no calories that affect you. The calories go right to the ground and disappear like electricity.
Eating while walking is actually even better, so if you go to a fast food shop, you are probably best of to have a lean sandwich if you intend to sit down and eat it, while if you grab takeaway and eat it while walking, you can have a big slice of pizza or a fatty hamburger.
-- Models Dieting Tips Jokes --
Food eaten in front of TV has no calories.
It is not absolutely clear why, but it is believed to have to do with the radiation from TV, which eliminates all the calories, and also all recollection of having eaten it.
If you are eating while drunk, the food has no calories.
That is why pub meals are so popular, and also dining with a wine. The alcohol gets rid of all calories, (including the large pizza in the end of the diet above).
If you are so drunk that you cannot remember eating, the food has absolutely no calories, because basically you haven't eaten it (can apply to the cheesecake in the diet above).
NB
This is a jokes site so please don't follow these models dieting
tips in
reality and then blaim us!
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